You know the version of yourself you built to get through. The one who keeps the peace, reads the room, holds it together so no one else has to worry. Maybe you have wondered who you would be if you ever set that version down.
This week I sat with Tarah and EJ Kerwin, two therapists who spend their days helping couples find their way back to each other. They came in curious about a therapy they wanted to understand before recommending it, and instead they found themselves in the middle of their own life shift. For Tarah, a supervised ketamine session opened a door to something her body had been carrying since she was a little girl, something she might have lived her whole life never knowing. For EJ, it became a slow lesson in letting go of the control he had always mistaken for love.
What stays with me is how gentle they are with all of it now. There is no neat bow here, no tidy lesson about pain making you stronger. There is a woman learning that she was allowed to feel safe in her own body. There is a man learning that joy is something you have to actually go looking for. And there are two people who found out that you cannot force safety onto a person, you can only make enough room for it to arrive.
What You'll Hear
• Why keeping the peace can quietly cost you your own voice
• What it feels like when your usual ways of coping stop working
• The difference between controlling a relationship and creating safety in one
• How buried memory can reshape the way you see your whole life
• A kitchen conversation that started with letting go and ended in more love
• Why real change is never too late, at fifty, at eighty two, at any age
Guest Bio
Tarah and EJ Kerwin are the founders of Relationship Renovation and creators of the Relationship Renovation Model™, as well as hosts of the Relationship Renovation Podcast. They blend raw honesty, humor, and decades of combined experience to help couples deepen intimacy and build emotional safety. Known for their vulnerability and real-life storytelling, they share practical, research-backed tools rooted in attachment science and nervous system regulation. EJ is also the founder of Men Who Do the Work, a group helping thousands of men create emotional safety and show up more intentionally in their relationships. Together, their work includes the nationally recognized Relationship Renovation Counseling Center in Tucson, Arizona, a globally ranked top 1% podcast, the Relationship Renovation @ Home manual (available on Amazon), a global online community, and private coaching for couples and individuals. They are passionate about helping partners break old patterns, rebuild trust, and create lasting, intentional connection.
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childhood trauma healing, recovered memories, ketamine assisted therapy, emotional safety in marriage, releasing control in relationships, couples healing together, learning to feel joy, self compassion after trauma, feeling safe in your own body, we are not uniquely broken
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• Starting Over: You Can Lose Everything and Still Be Okay (https://www.thelifeshiftpodcast.com/lora-cheadle/)
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