Infertility, Stillbirth, IVF, and Surrogacy: Leslie Lopez on Feeling Happy and Sad at Once

Leslie Lopez shares her story of infertility, stillbirth, IVF, and surrogacy, and the day her daughter arrived and she felt happy and really sad at the same time.

After six years, six rounds of IVF, a donor, and a surrogate, Leslie got the call that her daughter was arriving three weeks early. She showed up at the hospital without a single onesie. In this conversation, she opens up about the shame she carried when she learned she had infertility, the armor she wore after losing her stillborn daughter, the visits she still makes to the cemetery, and the day she got honest with herself and asked for help. She also walks through how IVF, donor conception, and surrogacy actually work, and why she believes talking about it openly makes it easier for everyone.

Content note: this episode includes discussion of infertility, stillbirth, and alcohol and cannabis overuse.

ABOUT LESLIE
Leslie Lopez is an infertility advocate, entrepreneur, and host of the Mothers in Arms podcast. After navigating six years of fertility treatments, stillbirth, donor conception, and gestational surrogacy as an independent mother, she became passionate about creating more open conversations around infertility, grief, and modern family building. Through her work, Leslie helps women feel less alone while advocating for greater emotional support and awareness throughout the fertility journey.

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ieatanddrinklife/
Mothers in Arms podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/mothers-in-arms/id1768849257

CHAPTERS
0:00 Six years, six rounds of IVF
1:30 Welcome to The Life Shift
3:57 Who Leslie is in 2026
6:26 Am I doing this right?
11:34 The call: the baby is three weeks early
15:59 Happy and really sad at the same time
17:46 Life before: service, 9/11, and a big family
18:40 Infertility and shame
19:53 Anger as armor
23:04 What pushed her toward IVF, a donor, and a surrogate
25:17 Keeping up the happy face after loss
26:56 Visiting her daughter at the cemetery
29:38 People pleasing and giving first
31:07 Perfectionism and not preparing
33:43 Admitting she needed help
35:42 Meeting with an addiction counselor
37:06 This is not what I signed up for
40:48 An instant family
43:57 How IVF, donor conception, and surrogacy work
49:33 Normalizing surrogacy
51:57 The C-curve breath
56:40 Where to find Leslie

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KEYWORDS
infertility, IVF, surrogacy, donor conception, stillbirth, pregnancy loss, postpartum sadness, independent mother, grief and motherhood, asking for help, Mothers in Arms, Leslie Lopez, The Life Shift Podcast