Why I Still Feel Like a Mother to a Ghost

Please note: this story includes the death of a child and addiction.

Sally McQuillen shares the story of loving her son, Christopher, and life after the devastating loss of a child.

Sally still feels the same crush on her son that she did when he was a boy. Christopher was wild, charming, and constantly pushing boundaries, even as an infant. But in January 2016, a frozen lake took him from her at just 21 years old. In this conversation, Sally opens up about the fear that defined her early years of parenting and how she navigates the reality of a world where her son should be 31, but remains forever 21.

As a psychotherapist who specializes in trauma healing, Sally offers a unique perspective on the weight of parental grief. She discusses the challenge of carrying her son’s spirit forward while his friends move on to marriage and parenthood. This episode is a raw look at what it means to keep living when the person you love most is gone, and why grieving a child is a journey that changes you forever.

If you are struggling, please know you do not have to carry it alone. In the US, you can call or text 988 any time. Subscribe to The Life Shift for more stories of resilience, and let us know what part of this conversation resonated with you most.