For 12 Years She Checked His Breathing Every Night and Told No One

Content note: this episode includes discussion of the loss of an infant child.

Maybe you know what it is to keep a small ritual no one else knows about. Something you do quietly at night, just to be sure.

Tania Chomyk was in her thirties, a mom to a five year old daughter and a six month old son, living what everyone called the million dollar family. On the morning of November 11th, 1998, she woke up, turned to her husband, and said, what an angel, he slept through the night. Her son Danylo had already passed. Tania walks us through the fog of that day, the months she spent retreating from the world, and the little girl whose gentle words about her brother gave her a reason to keep going.

For twelve years she checked on her next baby every night with a finger under his nose, and she told no one. We talk about grief that shows up when it wants to, clean pain and dirty pain, a marriage that couldn't hold two different ways of grieving, and the research paper she wrote in 2002 that she pulled back out twenty years later. Tania shares what carrying grief has looked like for her, and she leaves room for yours.

What You'll Hear

• The morning of November 11th, 1998, and the fog that came after


• A five year old daughter who became her reason to keep going


• Signs, a Beanie Baby angel, and feeling her son's presence


• Retreating, returning to work, and the Easter question that broke her open


• Clean pain, dirty pain, and a marriage that grieved in two directions


• Writing a book twenty-eight years later to support the Child Life Program at the Montreal Children's Hospital

Guest Bio:

Tania Chomyk is an author, life transition expert, award-winning inspirational speaker and educator with more than 30 years of experience in higher education, career development, leadership and personal growth. The unexpected loss of her infant son, Danylo, became the catalyst for her life’s work helping others navigate grief, life transitions and new beginnings with courage, clarity, and hope. She is the author of Bringing Light to Loss: Redefining Grief to Reclaim Hope and Meaning.

Website: https://taniachomyk.com/

Book: Bringing Light to Loss: Redefining Grief to Reclaim Hope and Meaning (https://www.amazon.ca/dp/B0FQJTN2M1)

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