Why Ryan Hennessey Left Teaching to Build a Life of Purpose and Freedom

00:00
Sometimes the clarity that we need shows up in someone else's story and it changes everything. In this episode, Ryan Hennessey shares the exact moment he realized that he was no longer  willing to live in this burnout stage and how stepping away from the classroom helped him step into this more aligned, heart-led life. It's a story about reflection, courage, and choosing yourself even when the next step feels uncertain.

00:27
This woman's not just telling her story. She's telling mine. Like I'm watching a person tell the exact story of what I'm going through. And it is clear as day to me that that woman upfront needs to make a radical change in her life and she needs to take back control of her life. And it like fused together like I need to take back control of my life and I need to, I need to make a radical change.  I'm Maciel Hoolie and this is The Life Shift.

00:54
candid conversations about the pivotal moments that have changed lives forever.

01:09
Hello, my friends. Welcome to the LifeShift Podcast. I am here with Ryan. Hello, Ryan. Hello. Thank you for wanting to be a part of the LifeShift Podcast. You sent a very kind  message about being a part of the show. And I know we went back and forth and  people listening probably don't know or they probably know if they're here again. They know I don't like to do a lot of research. So that's all I know about you, which is always a fun part for me.  It all stems from an experience I had when I was eight, which was I was

01:38
visiting my father, my parents live thousands of miles apart. I lived with my mom full time.  She was on a trip with her boyfriend. I was at summer camp near my dad's house. I got brought into his office one day and he had to tell me that my mom was killed in a motorcycle accident. And at that moment in time, which I call kind of like a line in the sand type moment, this life shift moment,  everything about my life was gonna be different.  Anything that we had imagined for it was no longer possible. I say all that to say,

02:08
I didn't have the tools to grieve and do all the right things, right? And so behind the scenes, I was always wondering, do other people have these  line in the sand moments in which  like everything is different from one day to the next?  know, something triggered something and then all of a sudden, good or bad, things changed.  And so I've just been on this beautiful couple year journey now of talking to people like yourself about these line in the sand moments and how, you know, we can take them and we can do things with them.

02:38
whether they're external, whether they're internal,  however that goes. And I find that every story  has a piece that I didn't know I needed to help me on my healing journey.  that was just a little preface, but thank you for being a part of it. Thanks for having me.  What a powerful  why that you do this and I appreciate it. And of course, whenever anybody goes through their moment, there's a lesson to be learned, right?  Whether you're in that moment or not, so very powerful stuff.

03:06
You know, and the naive version of me when I started this was like, yeah, it's just one life shift moment. Nobody has more than one. And it's like, you have them all the time, right? If we,  if we have the power or the  self awareness to be able to reflect, right, and understand why we made the choices we made, how can that be better in a different way? You know, like, what can we do moving forward? I think there's such power in that. So I'm sure you have multiple life shift moments.

03:33
Absolutely. feel like my life shift moments, the ones that that you have a choice in the ones that maybe you bring upon yourself.  If you don't see the lesson in those, a lot of times they're going to keep coming back around until you until you get the lesson. Right.  There's something about that history repeating itself.  Absolutely. So before we get into your life shift moment story, maybe you can tell us 2025. Who is Ryan? How do you identify or show up in the world? I'm a coach.  I'm  a transformative  adventure based wellness.

04:02
facilitator. So I've  created these retreats.  And then I also do some tutoring. I do  start a program called collaborative tutoring, which is essentially like a small classroom where I'm teaching math and science, but with a group of students all working towards the same goal and learning from each other and from from me. How long have you been doing these pieces? I know it's part of your story, but how long are you this version of you?  Two months.  So very fresh.

04:26
Yes, very fresh. 2025 version of me still included me as a high school science teacher. I was a high school science teacher up until March, actually. That would be the story. Primarily, I'm a father and that plays a huge role in the story as well. My daughter is just turning 13 months old. That's a life shift in itself. She keeps us busy. Absolutely. That really was the driving force between like, it's time to

04:56
draw the line in the sand and make a shift. Yeah, no, it's,  I can imagine that in itself, just having a kid is,  changes your world completely.  And then you add all the other internal fires and just wanting to be like your own human and the human that makes the choices that you want to make. So  I think there's a lot of power in that. I love that you're like so new in your journey because I bet after this episode comes out and like you listen to it six months later, you're going to be like,  wow.

05:24
That's quite a different journey than I am on now. So that's fun. Absolutely. Even in the last eight weeks,  so much has shifted, right? And every time something comes up, I roll with it and I change. And  so, yeah, I think  listening to this in a few months, it's going to be like, oh, I didn't even know what I didn't know, you know? Right. Yeah. Well, maybe you can kind of paint the picture of your life leading up to kind of this line in the sand moment, this  this pivot that you had in your life that that changed the trajectory, hopefully in a good way.

05:54
Yeah, absolutely.  Well, so I've been a teacher for 10 years  and starting out, I mean, I should almost back up and say  when I was in middle school and high school,  I  was  the student that everybody hates. You know, the teachers hated to have in their class. I was disruptive. I skipped class. I  didn't put in any effort, but then randomly I'd take a test and, get a B or something and just enough to get myself by.  And  so my journey with education  started in middle school and high school where I was

06:25
I didn't have motivation. I didn't see the relevance in what I was being taught to learn. And along the way, I had a couple of teachers who really made an impact, you know, and they kind of fell into two buckets for me. I had teachers who showed up for me as a human being again and again. I could make mistakes. They would hold me accountable. And then when I show up the next day, they would see me as a person and welcome me and, you know, make you feel like you belong in that space. So I had two teachers that really

06:53
come to mind when I think about that. And then I had two different teachers who created learning environments that were just epic, you know, like these, these put together these lessons that were transformative and they were memorable and they that you actually wanted to do. And yeah, and I was, I remember being in seventh grade or and I was failing most of my classes and I wanted to be a part of this. And like, sometimes they would even use it as the carrot of like, Hey, we have this thing coming up this next week, you know,

07:20
You have to be at this grade point, average or above, otherwise you're going to be sitting out. And I would be like, I'm going to get myself in then because I want to do that.  But they were, you know, this combination of teachers who  both made learning really meaningful and also created a space in which like felt safe, you know, especially in middle school when you're trying to figure out who you are and how you show up in the world.  took me a long time to figure out how to show up in the world in a meaningful  way that contributes to society.

07:48
That had me kind of take on the journey of like, want to be an educator.  And  even through  undergrad,  my path was very similar, where I just wasn't super motivated, didn't see the relevance and what  the standards were that were put in front of me. And it wasn't until I got into a classroom of my own that I was like, I fell in love. I'm like, this  is what I was meant to do, because I can do things different and I can show up in a way that's meaningful and I can create a space where students can.

08:16
show up and be seen and be their truest, authentic selves and take risks and fail  horribly, but in like a safe, controlled environment and learn from those failures. And it was truly like this  switch had flipped inside of me.  And all of a sudden I actually wanted to, I actually went back to school for my master's degree in educational psychology. And I wanted to know more about the profession and how I could be better.  So you were checking the box before then you were just like, I got to

08:44
graduate so I can actually teach  and you're like, oh wait,  maybe I want to learn a little bit more  to be better. And there's actually, I mean, there's a time during my student teaching where I'm like, I don't think I'm going to teach. And I actually, when I graduated college, I went and I took a job doing tests and balance for HVAC systems.  Cause I was like, ah, it's not really for me. And I just felt like  the universe kept calling me back. And eventually I was like, this is definitely not what I want to do.  And  I ended up accepting a teaching job.

09:13
being like, well, it's worse can happen. And  literally like that was kind of my mindset.  What grade were you going into?  Eighth grade in science. So it's earth and space.  And so thinking of that eighth grade version of you, you're like, you got a bunch of us.  Oh, yeah. Yes, absolutely. And I had class sizes of like 46 and, you know, trying to learn science and, and it

09:36
kicked my ass in a lot of ways, but in a lot of ways that I needed. You know what I mean? It kind of broke me down and forced me to become more organized and more communicative and more empathetic.  It forced me to grow in a lot of like really amazing ways. And I loved it. And that's ultimately what's like, Oh, I want to go back to school. Like I want to learn more, which is the first time in my life that I was like, yes, school. Like I want to go and learn.  Basically my thought process was  I kind of

10:05
Didn't take advantage of what was available to me the first,  however many years that is, 18 years of education.  right. I didn't take advantage of that. And so I was like, I want to go back for something that's meaningful. I don't want to just check this box. And so I went and I didn't just take the  masters that like a lot of teachers just get so they can get a pay raise. went back and I went into one that was specifically about teaching and learning and working beside video game designers. You know, like how do we make things engaging and fun?  Yeah.

10:32
Well, because I would imagine too teaching in middle school, I think you're also kind of realizing that it's not all the subject, right? Like I feel like there's a lot of personality happening because like you said, people are trying to find themselves and  find the people around them. So  it's like two layers. So it seems like your master's focus was probably a smart one to help you.

10:55
And that's really what it is, is while you're teaching,  doing so much more than teaching. And actually, that's kind of controversial, I've realized, as I've shared some of these thoughts. really? Yeah, because some teachers are like, no, you're the problem with teaching. There shouldn't be an expectation that we need to take care of people's feelings and we need to  do this, this, and this. And I completely see both sides of the coin. Yeah. But I think of all the people, whenever you hear somebody say or mention their favorite teacher, it's never like, I  loved...

11:23
writing that final report about XYZ, you know, like it was never that it's always how you felt,  or how that how did they care about you as a human,  not just another number. Yeah, and I think like, to some some degree, we probably need both types of teachers, they kind of balance each other out.  And in a long a lot of ways, and what leads to my story is  the teachers who put everything in and try to create meaningful, you know, like everything and make everything meaningful, they burn out, you know,

11:52
It's kind of like trying to fill a bucket with a hole in it. You know, it's there's these systems that are working against you and the more you put in isn't necessarily going to mean a better product.  just means you're more drained.  Yeah. Cause I mean, at the end of the day,  if you want to make this enjoyable and fulfilling for you, it's going to take a lot more energy than the system is prepared to help you along with or support or.

12:19
You know, like they're just like, here's the test. Here's your Scantron. Go for it. Like  grade this  later on. I don't even, I just aged myself by saying Scantron, but  you know, I think  there are so many systems in which, like, if you want to be like this fantastic, well known, not well known, but well respected teacher, the system doesn't support that. So I could imagine there's also that, like, you're not even helping me try to be a good teacher, right?

12:45
Yes. And ultimately, that's what I felt like the last five years of my career was,  I want to do bigger and better things. I want to do these things for my students.  Somebody please help me.  Step in and make this accessible to me because I don't have the energy that I had in the time  when I was 22, but I still want to teach at that level.  Anything less than that doesn't feel like it's what my students deserve. And so you kind of get in this tension of like,

13:13
Do I burn myself out and give more than I have to give? Or do I just give them a worksheet and collect my paycheck? Do you know what I mean? Yeah, but if you're in the camp of caring, it's really hard to do that second one until you don't care anymore. Was that something you were actively seeking help with from administration or things like that? Or were you trying to take the world on your own? Over the last five years, a number of things that I tried. tried... Can I...

13:40
Even trying to work with the district and saying like, can I work 0.8 FTE? Like, can I just teach four classes instead of five classes that I can get out an hour and a half early and spend time with my daughter? I was also, so I actually, after I got my masters, I went back, they'd asked me to come back and do my PhD, which again, for a kid who failed most of his life, it really felt like an opportunity that I couldn't step, you know, I couldn't turn down. so

14:09
When  that came up,  I left for a year and I had to take a year leave of absence. And then I was trying to figure out like, how do I do my dissertation? How do I like  the thing that I wanted to do was create a meaningful curriculum that we've  stem. So like engineering design with  SEL, which is social emotional learning. Like, how do we like these two things have so much parallel?  How do we  weave these things together and create a product that's going to be amazing to students because it's both

14:38
It's both those things that I was talking about, right? It's like, how do we create engaging,  interactive,  meaningful lessons? And also, how do we talk about these skills that are not talked about? How do we make sure that students have these communicative skills to talk about how they're feeling and to  navigate relationships and complex  problem solving? Yeah, I mean, especially to,  this is total stereotyping, so you're welcome, but like math and science, when you're teaching those things,

15:06
I think if you just teach that, you don't teach the elements of being a human, you can also create a robot in a way. Sterile  is not the right word, but it feels very directional and not  as much of a hug,  if you will. It feels very strict and  confining. I commend you for that. think that's the way you do it. That's the way you should do it. Right. And if you think about the practice of  science, how do do science?

15:34
It should be an independent thought process of like, how do we make this thing better? How do we ask better questions? How do we, it shouldn't be this linear path of like, I'm gonna solve this, I'm gonna learn this skill, then this skill, then this skill. And of course,  to  tackle more complex problems, you need more complex,  know,  progressively stronger skills.  But we've kind of gotten away from the ask your own questions and let's see what you want to explore  about this topic.

16:03
Were you in a place where it was like a teach to the test type environment that they wanted from you? Not necessarily. Our district had just gone through a  kind of a transition of, so at least in Minnesota, I think nationwide people are  moving towards this new curriculum that is called  Phenomenon-Based, it's next generation science standards. And it's supposed to be kind of a flipped model from the traditional of like  teacher stands in front of the class  and

16:31
lectures and gives all of this direct instruction and then students go and practice. It's supposed to be more like, here's a phenomenon  and  experience it, ask your own questions and then we'll follow up from there, which is great. But if it works,  it right. It's one of those things that, yeah, when there's a really  well orchestrated lesson and that's put in front of students or anybody, it is meaningful. But then when you buy curriculum from  Pearson or one of the large textbook companies,

17:01
that just says like, yes, this is all phenomenon based.  So when you buy something from a textbook manufacturer, a lot of times it's just meant textbook  learning  in a different dressing. Which is not what you wanted to do. So you were trying to get better. Did you feel supported along the way? Because I mean, they asked you to get your PhD. So does that feel like support for you? They  didn't ask me to get my PhD. So  I sought out my own masters.  Our district did a really

17:31
to have a nice pay scale increase. So like once you get your masters, you do get, you make some more money.  And then beyond masters, they actually offer some additional. So they make it worth it to some degree.  The PhD didn't feel worth it to me. I actually ended up, I didn't finish my PhD because I kind of got to this point where I had to either  take a year away from teaching, which they actually wouldn't let me do because I already used my year away from teaching to start the PhD.

17:57
So I'd done all my classes, I just wanted to do my dissertation, but  it was about $35,000 to  go and write a paper.  And I'd have to take time from teaching and ultimately, my whole goal of doing all of that was to become a better teacher and to make a bigger impact in the classroom. So  I put that on pause for as long as I could put it on pause and eventually it got to the point where I'm like, right, I'm going to officially say that I'm out of this program until further notice.

18:24
So those were those pieces. And that was where I was trying to work with district and administration and figure out like, do I make both of these things work so that we can continue leveling up, you know,  creating this curriculum that the entire district could use  or beyond. So that part felt hard. So my progression was really like  falling in love with the profession and it breaking me down and building me back up in ways that I didn't even know I was capable of. It taught me so much.

18:53
But then I kind of hit this inflection point and it was kind of when I came back from doing a year away doing for my PhD, we're at all of this momentum and my goals had grown and my, I had so much more learning that I wanted to do. And then it was kind of like, I kind of started feeling boxed in. It started to feel more suffocating than it was this thing that was growing me. And so now, so I got to the point where I didn't feel like I had space to.

19:21
to breathe or to be this larger version of myself that I was becoming.  And  that grew  for many years. And for many years, I kind of kept it at bay by taking on other hobbies or taking on other certifications.  then it was this new curriculum thing that I was talking about. So for the first six years,  I taught a curriculum with an extraordinary team of educators. We built this curriculum that was super meaningful.

19:49
When I left and I came back, COVID happened in between that year.  And when I came back,  I  was a new school, a new curriculum, new team. And so was just the amount of energy, right? Like,  again, that curriculum wasn't atrocious,  but it wasn't mine. So it still took an enormous amount of energy just to get it back up to  what I felt like my students deserved. And then last year, we got another new curriculum and that one was  rather atrocious. And so

20:18
That really was my like, okay, like I have to put in so much more energy than I have. And then my daughter was born and all of a sudden my time became priceless, you know, and I'm already, I'm already at work eight, nine hours a day or out of the house eight, nine hours a day. And then I come home and I have to grade and I have to respond to emails and I have to plan. So it became overwhelming. Yeah. And I would imagine too.

20:44
it's a lot harder to find the joy or find the light when you're forced to teach something that doesn't bring that to you. So it's like  double the energy  to do what you were doing eight hours worth. Like the eight hours in this terrible curriculum is like 16 hours  of energy when you were enjoying like the aspects that  you could control. Yeah, because a  lesson that...

21:11
that you build and that is engaging and gets the kids excited and meaningful learnings taking place.  That fills you up. It really does.  Yeah. It's not as exhausting.  Right. And then the opposite happens. If you've ever seen anybody read a PowerPoint, that's not theirs.  It's a train wreck and you,  it just, it's not great. So you either are like- For anyone. For anyone. Very right. The students, yeah, more so than me because they have six hours of it. Yeah. I at least get a little bit better throughout the day.

21:40
So yeah, it kind of became this  thing that like I absolutely still love working with students. Like it never was the students to me. I know a lot of people leave because the students are  off the rails.  I always loved working with the students.  I just got burnt out working against the system is what it felt like. How are your peers in all this? Were they like  shut up and get in line or were they supportive of your passion for it?

22:08
Let's call them by name. you're saying of me wanting to do more.  was a shhh, we commiserated. It was a shared like, this is terrible.  And yeah, I definitely had some friction  or frustrations when I was like, hey, let's do this thing. Let's let's buy this and let's get this wood and we're going to build this contraption and we're going to  teach the Coriolis effect by spinning the kids instead of just having them draw with a marker on a globe. You know, and they're like,

22:36
There's so much to do. We don't have time for that.  There's truth to that. But I think I ran up against that as well of everybody's exhausted, nobody has the energy to put in more. Which is not energizing at all to see the other people around you also exhausted. You'd naturally kind of, it's like a group thing kind of thing going on too. Right. And so there were plenty of times where I would like, all right, and I'd go rogue and I'd build my own  lesson and I would still do the thing that I thought was meaningful.

23:06
but that wasn't sustainable. Every time I did that,  it was great, but I was like, okay, I put in 20 hours of work for this one hour lesson and the students really appreciated it, but was the juice worth the squeeze in the long run, right? Yeah. Do you start building resentment towards the profession, towards the industry as you're kind of burning out here? Because I would. Yeah. Yes and no.

23:32
I think throughout the whole thing, I really kept a clear head about like, there's this larger system. It didn't feel like it was any one person. Do know what I mean?  Like, I don't think the  administration in my building were like evil enough to get me or anything like that. They were doing their job. They were doing their job. They're trying to run a building and absolutely. And then when I look at the district level, it's kind of the same thing. They have a finite amount of resources and they need to allocate it.

23:54
It was one of those that was hard because it didn't feel like there was one person that I could just like direct my hatred towards and overcome. It just felt like a systemic issue that wasn't going to change overnight. And that it would be hard for you to fix. Yeah. Yourself. Very, very hard. Right. It's like more of a policy level thing at the state or national level. Yeah. And so I, in December, just December, 2024, I signed up for a

24:25
heart-led business retreat in Los Angeles,  because I  know I had the idea of doing some of the stuff that I've shared that I'm doing.  I had those ideas.  I knew I wanted it to be meaningful, because a lot of my search  or my soul searching for the couple of years up to this point was applying for jobs  and just kind of treating it as practice. So I'd apply for a job. I would keep my resume up to date.  I would  interview, and sometimes I'd even get offered the job.

24:55
And then I was able to weigh that job to teaching. I really did. I teaching, again, I don't have this resentment. I'm not telling anybody, don't go into teaching. Because it holds a special place in my heart. And every time I would compare, like,  if I want to go work in  a warehouse as a manager and manage a bunch of people, like, how would that match up to  doing  amazing science lessons with amazing students and, being overworked? Sure. But, you know, every time I would compare.

25:22
the two, I'd go back to teaching. that kind of kept me, it felt like I was  at least in control. I was making the choice of doing the thing I wanted to do. So I signed up for this retreat.  And  as I was  there on the first day, I was listening to a woman speak. She was a real estate agent  and  she was really good at her job. She loved it for so many years. It brought her so much joy. She was trying to be the heart led real estate agent that was taking care of people instead of just like a bottom line.

25:51
that she spoke,  she, it started to become really apparent that she was  carrying a lot of weight. And she talked about how it had become suffocating for her  and how she started to have this growing sense of dread to like go into work each day. She talked about missing  formative years of her daughter's life that she'll never get back, you know, and she got to this point where she's like cowering in the corner a little bit. I mean, her body  was  telling more of the story than her words actually were.

26:20
And I got to this point where my body started to have a visceral reaction. My heart started to race.  My hands started getting kind of sweaty  and  it all just kind of fused together in this one moment of like, this woman's not just telling her story. She's telling mine. Like I'm watching a  person tell the exact story of what I'm going through. And it is clear as day to me that that woman upfront needs to make a radical change in her life.

26:47
and she needs to take back control of her life. And it like fused together like, shit, I need to take back control of my life and I need to make a radical change.  And  by the end of that weekend, it was non-negotiable that I was leaving teaching and that I was leaving before the end of the school year. That was,  I mean, that was kind of my like, I've been operating at an unsustainable  pace for way too long.

27:14
this time with my daughter is more valuable than anything that I'll ever get back. Yeah. It was these gentle reminders from someone that was living the same kind of experience as you. It reminds me of, I'm sure you've had this experience in which like maybe when you were growing up, your parents would tell you something all the time and you'd be like, you just didn't listen to them, but then you heard someone else say it and you're like, oh wow, that's such a great idea. And then your parents are like, I've been saying that forever. You know, it's like one of those things where you need to kind of see it.

27:44
or  read it again or whatever it may be and it hits you right at like, had you gone maybe six months earlier, maybe that wouldn't have affected you in the same way, right? Like it feels like  very serendipitous that it was like that time for you to be like, there's the last straw. 100 % that's what it was.  And  I just remember texting my wife like, I need to leave teaching.  like to say that, because I, before my daughter was born,

28:11
teaching was the thing that I was the most proud of, know, the lessons, the relationships with students, the, the impact, the measurable impact I've had on their lives. Like that defined who I was and that became who I was. And so to leave that part of me behind, there's like a ton of grieving with that, you know, like I, because there was still actively, like I still loved so many parts of my job. And also I could no longer.

28:41
win between this tension of like, do I take my time away from my family and my daughter?  Or do I give my students something that I think  isn't what they deserve? And I mean, I ultimately I got into this,  this whole  trajectory because I wanted to become the teacher that I needed when I was in middle school, when I was in high school.  And to give anything less than that felt like I was failing them and failing me.  And I mean, to be fair, you, you, you were.

29:11
Right? Like you were that teacher for many students  throughout the years that you did it.  And it sounds like from  what you described you're doing now,  it's not like you're still teaching. Like you're still doing the parts of it that you love, but you're creating the  universe that you're doing it  in. Right? Like it's not a hard pivot as much as it's not like you went into like  deep sea fishing.  I don't know why.  I guess that would still be teaching.

29:40
But  it feels like you were able to  maintain  the things you loved about it. Yeah. True. Yeah. Absolutely. that was part of,  thankfully, I was at that retreat when I had that moment, right? Because then the following day, I was able to unpack so much of that  and start generating this escape plan of like, I'm not just going to not show up for work on Monday and say I'm out. Because I didn't leave teaching for another  three months.  I created this escape plan of like, what do I love about teaching?

30:08
And how do I take the aspects that I love in my zone of genius  and how do I apply that to something else that I can make money in that I can still empower people in that I can still create meaningful experiences.  And  these three aspects of my company are now what came out of that. Yeah. Well, before you go more into that, what made you do the choose that session like you weren't close to Los Angeles? Like, like, why, why that session? How did that? No,  the guy who

30:38
ran it  as Mark Groves. He's a person who I've  followed his body of work for a long time, read his book.  It just resonated a lot with the messaging that he was  providing.  Ultimately, he's  one of the people who has walked the walk of what I want to do. mean, he does men's work, he does  healing work, he does  retreats. That was in the back of mind when I was  looking at that specific retreat of like...

31:08
And that was the first  investment dollar I've ever spent to myself. I had never done a coaching thing. I'd never gone on a men's retreat. I'd never done any of those things. And then I was like, I'm going to do this. And something was just  so absolute that this needed to happen. And  we had a six-month-old. And my wife was like, you need to do this.  We'll figure it out. And she supported me all the way through.  And we made it happen.

31:36
It did. It felt serendipitous. Like this just that was the moment that had to happen. Yeah. Because I mean, if that's not your normal approach to things like signing up for,  you know, things like that and going to a different state and doing all these extra things, it's like,  why then? And so you're probably like, this was like, your subconscious was like,  get me out of here.  Yeah, we need to do something because it's  burnout sneaks up on you, too. I don't know if you experienced that. But like in my own life, it's like suddenly I'm I like

32:06
feel it all, right? And  then you look back and you're like, oh, I just missed every single hint  of burnout,  you know, along the way. So good on you for choosing that. And that's hard for people to do because I'm sure there were expenses involved and you have to like invest in yourself. And I think a lot of us are like,  well, is it going to be an immediate return or,  you know, think like that and here you go. It gave you the message you needed. Exactly. Think about what else you could do with that money. And it's like, that's a lot of money.

32:35
And that's ultimately why I've said no a hundred other times to going on a retreat or going and doing coaching. And as soon as I did, it was just like, like everything just amplified. And then I even leaving there, I ended up signing up and doing coaching work with Mark, the guy who ran the retreat. And it's been just like leaps and bounds that I've known I was capable of. And also I don't know that I could have done it without somebody like borrowing somebody else's belief.

33:05
Hell yeah, you can do this. Yeah. I mean, it's really like that whole saying, like, just take the first step, right? Like that was the first step and it  snowballed into something bigger. Have you talked, did you talk to that woman at all? Yeah, I stay in touch with her. Yeah. We, cause we,  that,  that evening there was a group of us that had grabbed dinner and she made her and I were there. And  you know,  the more we talked, the more we're like, Oh my God, like we have the same  story to some degree.

33:34
And so it's been fun to touch base and be like, Hey, have you blown up your life yet? Have you, you know, have you made these  impactful changes? And she's done a lot, a lot of work, but she's, she's still, she's still working through it. So am I, as am I, I don't plan to, I don't pretend to be that guru that's got it all figured out. Well, I don't think any of us really do,  but I think that's, there's something to be said right there about her sharing  vulnerability and there's such power in.

34:01
not having to be the know-it-all or the, you know, everything's perfect kind of person, like just sharing the real versions of ourselves can help other people. It can mirror things for other people. I mean, you were able to see your experience through that, whatever she was doing or saying. think there's such, and that's kind of the reason I do this podcast in a sense, because it's like, you hear other people's stories.

34:27
and it can validate something or it might inspire you to take that, you know, invest in a class or something like that. And it's so important thinking of, you know, you're the middle school version of you or the eight year old version of me who thought like, I'll never grow up because I have a dead mom. Like, do people exist out there that have dead moms that are successful? You know, like it was not a logical thought, but it was an emotional thought of like, I don't know, is it possible to live without a mom? I don't know. But had I heard somebody

34:56
or seen somebody that didn't have one,  maybe I would have felt a little different. Maybe I would have approached it differently. So  I love that she was  putting it all out there because  even if no one else took that message,  you took the message that you needed at that time to catapult you into this newer version of you. So  when you left there, was it like, did you feel different? Did you feel like different purpose walking in a different way? Yeah, absolutely. The whole...

35:27
The whole sequence  felt like a reclamation of my power.  Even just the making the decision to walk away felt like I was taking control. I just, with teaching being so polarized,  it makes you play so small and constantly watch what you're saying, what you're doing, you're  X, Y, Z. And it feels like you're constantly operating from a place of trying to piss off as few people as possible.  There's just a truth to that because everybody's so polarized and...

35:56
education for some reason is in the limelight of like  indoctrination and all of these things, even though I've never met any teacher that's trying to impose their views, you know, but  they have other things to worry about.  Yeah. And so there became this  liberation kind of, and like, it wasn't like I was just starting to drop F bombs in front of students and you know, any of that,  because I took that part very serious of like, I'm going to teach up until the last moment. And in fact, I'm going to teach better. I'm,  I put together a two week grand finale of like,

36:26
We're going to have deep conversations. We're going to do the best lessons. We're going to, you know, build out giant escape rooms and do giant life-size bridges out of giant Legos and  make a huge mess in the room. And we're going to create these memorable experiences that I've been too burnt out to create for the last couple of years.  And we're going to do it, do it big. And we're going to talk about this transition for me and what it means for you.  And  yeah, and it was really powerful.  And that whole.

36:53
process just felt like step by step by step of reclaiming my power.  Was there any fear that you were going to love it again and then fall back into it? Every day. Every  day that I was in there and I would have like that moment where I'm like,  I love this or that kid is so funny  or you know, or  somebody comes in and thanks you for something, especially once I made it known that I was leaving. I had so many powerful connections with students that were just like, hey, I just want you to know that you showed up for me in this way.

37:23
And this changed everything for me.  Like so many times where I'd like legitimately,  they'd leave the room and I'd break down crying. So I'm like, why am  I, how could I walk away from this? Yeah. Yeah. That's a challenge.  And it felt right. And it felt like I was abandoning my students  to a large degree. Kind of like the,  if I'm not going to show up for them, who is,  you know? But that's tough. How did you push through it?  The way that I

37:53
kind of the understanding that I came to was  if I was going to,  I had the option of basically becoming the teacher who was resentful and just gave the worksheet and you know, like if I had to weigh the option of me becoming this teacher who didn't care and didn't give them the education they deserved,  I  would be failing them in a much greater way than me choosing myself  and  going on  this journey really of

38:20
pursuing an aligned life and building a life for myself that is aligned with my  passions, my interests, my zones of expertise, my family, my time, and creating something far bigger than I could have imagined  had I stayed in that role. And so that was kind of my pieces. Like, how do I set an example for them when I walk away? How do you walk away from something with dignity and with grace and leaving it maybe a little better than you found it  and ultimately choosing yourself?

38:47
Was there a fear or how like how do you walk away from something that  is stable though? Like I feel like that's a piece that I would be challenged of like, okay,  I'm to leave this and go off and do my own thing. Was that something that you were fearful of? Was that like you were like, no, I got it. Depends on the day that you asked me.  I have a myriad of skills, backgrounds.  You know, I do.

39:13
in the last couple years, I got my real estate license, got my pilot's license,  I worked forever in restaurants. So have kind of like this large background of skills that I'm like, no matter what, you're just a case of skills.  Exactly. No matter what, and my teaching license is still good for five years, like no matter what, I'm going to figure it out. But I'll never know unless I take this leap. I'll never know how  incredible my life how aligned my life could be unless

39:42
I commit and if I commit and I  fail, at least I'll know what I'm capable of. But if I commit and  things take off  and  create this abundant... I think the thing that was the most  mind blowing to me was the first six weeks after leaving. Of course, I had this  idea that I was going to make some money.  Like, yeah, everybody's going to want to  work with me and blah, blah, blah. In the first six weeks, I didn't make a dollar, not a single dollar, but...

40:13
I spent  on average probably 15 hours a week outside with my daughter and we had dance parties in the morning and we  laughed and played  and  I connected with people who make my heart happy  and deepened relationships.  And it truly was  and still is,  it's been the most abundant period of my life without a single dollar coming in. Of course there's always that financial stress of bills are coming up and things are due,  but yeah.

40:42
It was abundance like I've never known and it still is abundance like I've never known and there's not  financial abundance that's  correlated with that. Right. Well, and I would imagine that if you feel that personal love  abundance, like I feel if you're full, right, if you get a lot of that, that's  naturally going to energize you  to get more aligned in the profession piece as well. I feel like  if it was the opposite and you didn't have any of that.

41:11
Abundance it'd be really hard to kind of like push through Things that you want to do professionally,  so I think that they do align It's just maybe they're they're a little staggered right now and you got to build things up, too. It's not like Come running out of the gate, right? Right and there yeah, it is that it's like fuel for creativity You know, I tried to I would  since I don't know for the last five or six years I've done a lot of writing

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when things are hard and I need to kind of untangle some things.  And it's always been kind of a goal of mine to, I'm going to write daily or I'm going to write weekly or I'm going to just try to write.  And I'll look at that document when I'm stitching and I would go like full years without looking at it or, you know, six months at a time because like the creative energy is just  so tapped out when you're pouring everything you have and you don't have anything else.  And  since I've left every single day, I've been writing.

42:06
I've been writing good stuff. I'm writing things that people want to read.  It's just like I have this clarity  from being able to do that, from being able to write these messy thoughts every single day. When I go to speak them or think them, it's all just so much more articulate.  It's been wonderful. It's been wonderful to have that shift whether or not the  financial stability is even fully there yet.

42:33
like you put in the work and it'll get there. mean, especially  when you're leading, when it's heart led, when your full passion is in it, it feels like it's inevitable. It's just a matter of time, right? What does the next like six months look like for you in your plotted future? It's going to be awesome, to be honest.  I'm launching my first retreat this summer. So we're doing  seven days in Banff National Park up in Canada.

43:01
which is going to be hiking and camping and all of that. So that'll be the first  actual retreat,  which will be incredible. My wife and I are going to rent our house out and we're going to travel for like a year. That's the plan.  plans  change a lot, but  our plan is to  actually rent this house out  and see if we can stay in Airbnbs that are cheaper than this.  You know, just to have like a net wash, but be able to  go spend a month in California and go spend a month in Alaska.

43:29
be able to travel in a way that's like  home base bound so that we, because we do have a young daughter and it's, we do have a, built a camper van out and so my wife and I did a lot of traveling in that before we had a daughter  and now it's like there's no way. So  yeah, it'll be a lot of traveling and then it'll be a lot of, I'll be able to do the coaching remote.  I've actually been doing  a little bit more  tutoring.

43:56
remote as well than the in-person stuff. I won't be able to do that from the road, but,  and then I'll continue  building out these retreats. So I'm doing Banff this summer and Hawaii in January, the big Island. And then beyond that is  just lovely. And I get to choose what the next location is.  And with these retreats, it's like, again, I don't plan on being, I don't pretend to be the person with all of the answers. It's really like, this is an experience that I know that I've

44:24
I've needed it in my life so many different periods that bring clarity, that challenge me, that  push me outside of my comfort zone and teach me what I'm capable of.  And as I'm planning these retreats, I'm just planning them for that version of me that just desperately needed some camaraderie, some challenge, some excitement, some perspective. Well, I would imagine too that you're going to get something from all those retreats too. I mean, it's not just a financial benefit there. There's also the fact that you're probably going to, you know,

44:53
be in community with people that you had never met before, and now you're creating new relationships, which are obviously gonna teach you things,  because that's just how  human experience works, right? Like, I feel like  we can grow from each other, so  what a beautiful way to create something for yourself, but also serve  other people a lot. When you're talking about these retreats, they, like, what is the  ideal number of people on this retreat in your  world?

45:21
In my world, it would be 15 people or less. It's not this massive, like 100 people where you're kind of falling in the crack. Right. It's supposed to be something that's intimate. In my business mind, if there becomes a higher demand than that, I'll just do two back to back. I'll just have this group and then that group because I don't want it to be something where people are falling through the cracks. I want it to be intimate, something where... This summer is a men's retreat, but then Hawaii is open to anybody.

45:50
So I wanted to start with the men's retreat because I want to get really clear on my messaging of like, how do we show up in the world as men and how do we ask these questions and how do we be full humans? Be full humans. How do we  be vulnerable and share our feelings with one another? And how do we do that? in my experience,  we do that through experience, right? Like we do that through doing something together. It's a really good catalyst for kind of breaking down your, you know, your

46:18
your external armor, your internal armor,  and getting conversations to flow about like, what are you struggling with? Because you're physically struggling as you're going through some of these periods.  And it has a way of just kind of disarming people.  And there's a lot of space in between to  laugh, connect, commiserate sometimes when things are hard,  and break down those barriers  that get in the way. Yeah, no, I mean, there's such value there.  Do you feel different?

46:46
Do you feel different in this portion of your life than when you were in your teaching moments?  Absolutely.  My body felt different the day I left.  Tension and There's so much tension just constantly in my body that I wasn't even aware of.  And I feel more powerful, more capable. I think I've always been this capable, but I think stepping into...

47:13
Stepping out of a world in which you're constantly under scrutiny and you're constantly walking on egg shells and listening to  following protocol and worried about screwing something up, especially when it's so tied up in your identity. It's so empowering to be able to  spend your time and energy how you see fit, what you see as  meaningful  and not feel like I think I've been a lifelong people pleaser to some degree.

47:40
and to break out of that and be like,  I don't have to do that anymore. Like that was something that at some point in my life gained me safety and security. And now I get to choose me and my family and to to build something that's meaningful, regardless of what other people think. It's been really empowering. Why bad. Do you think that that it's more empowering because you hit that burnout phase? And do you think that you would have found this had you just  kind of loved it all along?

48:10
That's a good question. I think it would have looked a lot different and I think it would have happened a lot slower. Yeah. I think sometimes we got to be put in the fire. Yeah, absolutely. And I think that's the truth with this is that  I think because I became uncomfortable. mean, there's some degree of like a job or a relationship or something that's not that bad is one of the most harmful because if it's really bad, you're going to do something about it. Right. And so I guess I'm thankful in a weird way that things got to that point of like

48:40
this isn't working anymore, it's no longer growing you.  What is the next step? And  I could have been in there for another 10, 20 years before I realized it. And would I have grown? Sure, because I have other pursuits outside, but it would have been a really slow pace. Yeah, and your cup still would have been  filling, maybe not full, right? You still would have had the elements of  working with your students and connecting and getting all and having all that element. yeah, I think I...

49:07
I agree and I think most people listening have had this like, you have to have this like moment that's pretty shitty to kind of push you into a  new direction, but good for you. I mean,  myself very much was like check the boxes throughout life, like  graduate, do well,  get a job, get promoted. know, it was just like this checklist after checklist waiting for the next checkbox to feel like success or happiness or whatever it was.

49:37
And it's nice to see that,  I mean, I've learned along the way that we don't have to do that, but it's nice to see that you found the space where you're like,  I don't have to do what everyone else is quote unquote, expecting of me to do,  to be,  you know, it's a good example. And I'm sure you're setting a great example  for your daughter, you know, too,  young, but at the same time, seeing you as she grows up, seeing you choose you  and her and your wife.

50:05
But choose the things that you want to do. There's so much that comes with modeling that she'll just take even though you're not teaching her. Right. Absolutely. Right. How do we set up a life for ourselves that  we want her to step into something similar or better? Right. Even better. Or just trust herself. I think there's so much,  you know, that we're conditioned growing up or at least in my generation, was conditioned growing up thinking like I had to please everyone else. Like I had to.  Even losing my mom as a kid.

50:34
I thought, okay, if I'm not perfect, my dad's gonna abandon me too, because losing a parent feels like abandonment.  And so I just assumed that everyone else around me was also expecting me to be perfect. And so  it's nice and refreshing to see others in the space do the things that  their heart is calling them to do.  And I  think it's really fascinating  to watch because  it's scary still to some part of my brain, thinking of like you making up your own.

51:05
100%. And it's I mean, it's scary to me some days as well of like, am I going to be able to figure this out? And the answer is yes. Yeah. And I know that I have a knowing and and I had this like, I almost have the opposite now where I look at people that I know have outwardly expressed they hate their job. And I just want to shake them and be like, what the hell are you doing? Like life is so impermanent. And

51:32
important that you spend your time doing it how you want to. And I'm not saying that every single person should quit their job and go off and try to do their own thing, but walk towards alignment, whatever that means for you, right? Like figure out what it is that brings you happiness and joy. What do you want more of in your life and what do you want less of and do something, you know, take steps towards that to build a more beautiful life for yourself. Oh, maybe they'll see you doing it. And then they'll be

51:57
you'll be their version of the real estate, you know, your version of the real estate lady, you know, and they'll see it and they'll see,  oh, I can do that. That is possible. Yeah. Never know. There's hope. Yeah. What if this version you could go talk to like deep in that burnout phase version of Ryan, is there anything that like you feeling full and abundant in,  in your, in your life right now? Is there anything you'd want to say to him? To the version of me like a year ago or so. And you were like, Oh, get me out of this.

52:27
It would be just have the confidence,  get out of your own way and start.  Take that first step, whatever that is, because  the thing that gets in the way is your fear that you're not enough. That's where it all stems from.  And  I think once you're able to  flip that coin and be like, absolutely, I'm capable of doing this, this, this, and this,  and  you take that step, that leap, that commitment to choosing yourself, everything starts falling in place. I think I read something about

52:57
jump  and the net will appear.  And there's so much truth to that, even though it sounds ridiculous, but there's so much truth to that of like, you're going to figure it out.  And you're going to  put everything into figuring it out and creating that better life for yourself.  Have faith, have trust in yourself  that you're going to figure it out. Yeah, I think that's  probably common across so many different stories. I  talked to so many people about different life shifts in their lives. And  when you think back of that, that

53:27
person kind of in the mud, you know, and they're like,  it's not possible. And like, you hear these stories of resilience, and you're like, Oh, yeah, it always was possible. Like, we're always going to figure it out, hopefully.  But you know, if we keep trying, if we keep taking the next step, we're going to figure it out, we're going to make it through and it might not look exactly like we had hoped it would. But it's going to look the way that we needed or wanted it to. So yeah, good on you. Good on you for taking those steps.  Yeah.

53:54
Because usually it is  a situation of crisis, right? That actually finally shakes somebody awake and they're like, oh, I  just,  I had a near miss with cancer or I just lost somebody important to me. And then they reevaluate their life. And  a lot of people, it's that slow burn that just  keeps grinding them down.  But they stay because they're afraid that they're not going to be able to make it in any other way or they're afraid of the change. They're scared of the unknown. Yeah, which is  reasonable.

54:23
And also, run the scenario of what's the worst thing that happens. And usually it's a financial setback for a year. Yeah, most of the times the things we worry about don't ever happen. Right. You're way worse. Everything looks way worse. And that was part of my leaving teaching was just like, what is everybody going to think? And that was again, rumbling with the... But of course I had the worst case scenario of what people are going to think of it. Yeah. No, I think that's normal. I think sometimes we got to get out of our own way, like you said.

54:52
I think it's super important.  So if people want to learn more about you, connect with you, read what you're writing, learn about your retreats, what's the best way to find you?  Best way would probably be, I have a website. So my website is ryan-hennessey.com.  Otherwise on Instagram and Substack, Substack is where all my writing is housed.  My handle is  I am Ryan Hennessey. Well, we will link that in the show notes so people can, that's easy to get to.

55:20
And I encourage people if like you're feeling  maybe the way Ryan did in his teaching career and  things were okay, but not so great, know, know, something resonated with you. I encourage you to reach out whether Ryan wants you or not. encourage you. I'd love to connect. Yeah.  I think it's super important because you never know. Like just like you hearing that woman's story at that moment in time, that was something that like resonated with you that you're just like, okay, time to time to move on  time to make decisions. And so

55:49
someone might be listening to your story right now and thinking that was the sign I needed. So I encourage them to reach out to you. Absolutely. Absolutely. And follow, follow that inkling because that inkling doesn't go away. Absolutely. Yeah. It'll just get bigger and then you don't want to resent it. So you might want to just take action, right? Yeah, exactly. Thank you for sharing your life shift moment and being a part of this healing journey that I am on. Maybe I will take some steps towards things that are feeling more aligned. I appreciate you.

56:18
Absolutely. Thank you for that, having me on. It's been great. For sure. And thank you all for listening. I appreciate it so much. This passion project, who knew that in 2022, this school assignment would turn into this many conversations that are so important. So thanks again, Ryan, everyone else. be back next week with a brand new episode.

56:49
For more information, please visit  www.thelifeshiftpodcast.com