The Morning She Finally Chose Herself After Burnout

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Sometimes the life you build to feel safe becomes the one that swallows you slowly. For Lynn, that moment of truth came in an empty parking lot, a morning that began with tears and it ended with a decision to stop living for everyone else. After years of chasing perfection and approval and the next success, she finally let herself listen to the voice that whispered there had to be more. Her story is a reminder that change doesn't always arrive with a plan.

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Sometimes it starts with a crack in the routine, a quiet no, and the courage to step into the unknown. I truly believe this is our opportunity to do better. This is our curriculum for our own evolution. This is simply the content. This is what it looks like for humanity to get better. I'm Maciel Houli, and this is The Life Shift, candid conversations about the pivotal moments that have changed lives forever.

01:05

Hello, my friends. Welcome to the LifeShift Podcast. I am here with Lynn. Hello, Lynn. Hey, Mike. It's so great to have, to be here to thank you so much for this opportunity. Well, thank you for wanting to be a part of this show. This show is, I think I'm running into year four now and or season four. we're talking 2022. And I started this podcast as a school assignment. I was getting a second master's degree during the pandemic because I was so bored.

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and I needed something to activate my brain and I took a class that scared me and it was podcasting. And this class was, I mean, this class, the podcast came out of this class and here I am 230 something episodes later recording people all over the world. And I just never thought I would be this person who would have all these beautiful conversations, learn so much from other people because the life shift really exists because when I was eight, I was

02:03

Visiting my father, my parents were divorced. My mom and I lived in Massachusetts. She was a full-time parent, and my dad lived in Georgia. And so I would visit him, and I was probably going to see him a couple times a year. And I was there for an extended summer vacation. And one day after summer school or summer camp, he brought me into his office, and he had to tell me that my mom had been killed in a motorcycle accident. And at that moment in time,

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everything about what I knew about my life and what was comfortable and what was home was gone. It was pulled out with the words that came out of his mouth. And since this was 1989, there people weren't talking about it. My dad didn't have the tools to help a kid grieve. His mom didn't have the tools. Nobody was kind of one of those things where you just shut up about it and you carry on with life. And I just saw that everyone wanted me to be happy. So I just pretended I was happy for

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20 plus years, it made me a perfectionist, it made me very type A, because I was just afraid that if I wasn't perfect, people were gonna leave. And so in that stunted grief period, I always wondered, do other people have these like line in the sand moments, and they can be external or something traumatic like mine. But what I found in this journey, and I think what we're going to talk about today, sometimes there are these internal fires that we choose.

03:26

to create a life shift and that it was so foreign to me as someone who experienced something so young, like I just, I couldn't take the chance. It was too scary, right? And so now I'm just inspired and growing because of all these beautiful conversations with people that I otherwise probably never would have bumped into in the world. And so thank you for just being a part of my healing journey without even sharing anything yet. It's just so beautiful that our paths have crossed in this way.

03:54

Yeah, Matt, thank you so much. mean, I check out your uh podcast before I was about to be interviewed and I was like, wow, this is incredible. kind of collecting my senses of your intention for this podcast. And I don't think I have anywhere close to being really knowing what's why you start doing. So thank you for for sharing that. And ah I love that you kept it very raw and very open because I think

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just like a little bit of conversation we had before is when we have the willingness to talk our true experience as it is without any intention, just simply know that I know this, this is through my work and this is through my beingness, it's every single opportunity, there is a chance if I'm willing to set an intention to do something good for even just one person.

04:51

Um, one person hears my story, your story. They're like, Oh my God, I am not alone on this planet earth to went through whatever I went through so they can see hope. So they can see, yes, I can do something different, or that is what actually I have been stuck in until I'm hearing those stories. So thank you so much for sharing that. I'm so looking forward to take it deeper. Well, yelling, are so right though, because.

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I think a lot of us grew up, I don't know if you grew up this way, but a lot of us grew up where we could only really share the good things. We could only celebrate the milestones or the good grades or we weren't sharing. Today was just a bad day. And here's why. And that's okay. Cause I'm a human and we go through these cycles. And so I do it as much as I can now, because I know there are people out there that feel like they can't share it. And so, like you said, if people are hearing these conversations, maybe it gives them permission.

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to share their story in a way that they've never shared it before. And that, I don't know, you probably know this, the power of storytelling and telling your own story and sharing it in the full authenticity that it is, is really powerful. And it makes sense of things. Things are much crazier in my head. And then when I say them out loud, it makes sense of things. It puts things in order, and then I can move forward with it. And so, yeah, you're so right. The connection is so important to hear.

06:20

but also to be a part of. Yes, absolutely. Absolutely. Well, before we get into your story, maybe you can tell us 2025 going into 2026. Who is Lynn? Like, how do you show up in the world? How do you identify these days? I am at a whole using my own words, I'm at a very different level compared to myself. Last year, even definitely a few years back.

06:48

Because I am a mindset trainer. am on this journey and career path of personal development and awareness. And I always say as a coach, my first client is myself. As a trainer, mindset trainer, my first client is myself. So I practice everything I share with my clients first with myself. And I have been setting my own vision, my own goals.

07:14

for the years ever since I started studying transformation, studying mindset, And this is the year where I feel, oh my goodness, on the surface, the things that are happening on the planet Earth, if you're not taking it deeper, you just look at what is happening, it might be a situation where you just go, aww.

07:43

Well, at least you're in Canada. Yes. And I truly believe this is our opportunity to do better. This is our curriculum for our own evolution. This is simply the content. This is what it looks like for humanity to get better. I truly in my core, I believe in that. And my life is a reflection of that. went through whether it's in business, in life, went through some challenges. Now we all do. And

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At this point, just how the synchronicity globally, individually, my clients just wow. And the transformation of yes, we have arrived at a different level. Yes, whatever happened, the challenges happens, the bad days allow us to really see even more hope, allow us to become stronger. Guess what? It didn't kill us. So that is where I feel I am at. And I know

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This girl is into numerology. So 2025 is year of nine, which means for me anyway, we're collecting everything, all the wisdom, all the experience we've learned in the past eight years. And next year, 2026, it all up is a 10. That is a new beginning. So I'm all cheering for that. I'm very, very grateful for life for every single day that I get the opportunity to wake up because not everybody

09:12

does. And I am able to look at my husband, my two children, my dog, my parents, just with such a more and more intentional gratitude. It is not like, oh, they're here, whatever. Sometimes like parents, especially annoying. Yet I can truly train my own thinking to say I am, I was so grateful for life for all of those things that are in my life.

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So, so far in this very moment, I am grateful, I am happy. I'm so thrilled to be here. um Yes, I don't want to shout because we talked about the microphone situation, but you know, you might have a moment where I'm just gonna go whoa, because I am excited about life. Wow. I mean, that's, that's so, for growing up in the way I did, and it's so foreign to me to hear uh

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someone so full of that. So the cynic part in my mind is like, does Lynn have bad days? Oh, totally. Okay. You bad. Absolutely. But you know what to do with them. And you know how to reframe them. And you know how to set intentions to move through past with all the things. Yes, uh it's definitely the training part. ah It is a lifelong training is lifelong practice. It's just like

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People think, oh, yoga, know, using yoga. I don't do yoga on regular basis, but a lot of people think yoga is a fitness thing. It is actually beyond that. Yes, it's good for your wellbeing, for your health, for your physical strength. The true practice of yoga is a spiritual practice, is a mindset, awareness practice. And it's called practice for reason. You don't just, just like brushing your teeth.

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You don't just do it once and call it a day. That would be gross. Yeah, but we know we're a shower. We don't just go take one shower and call it a day and never do it again. It is a practice to maintain our cleanliness. It's a practice to mind your own mind, mind my own mind. When my nine year old just being a nine year old, when my three year old is just being a three year old.

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when the dog is just being a freaking dog and I can really honor my humanness to have a moment of, and I can come back to say, all right, I have a different level of awareness compared to myself a few years ago to not staying there for days. Or let's say I raise my voice. Yes, I do raise my voice towards my children. Never intentional is just that.

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That moment, you know, I lost control of my own thoughts and temper and afterwards I can choose to not feel guilty because guess what? Feeling guilty as a mother is so easy. It seems like the right thing to do and it's never gonna help yourself. It's never gonna help you to become a better mother, better wife, better partner, better nothing.

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human condition is, yeah, you feel guilty. If you don't, something's wrong with you. Is it? Can we change it? I choose to change that pattern because I want to be truly better. I'm going to learn from that situation and I'm going to really set the intention that I'll never do that again. Well, not a promise, that's the goal. Intention. That's the intention. And guess what? I am getting better and better. Yeah.

13:03

No, I think that's beautiful. And I had to just bring that up because I think I think there are are people out there that are selling like a quote unquote happiness like and it feels very toxic in a way because it's like, there is a reality to our lives as well. And not I, I would be questioning if someone was happy all the time and didn't have waves of things happening in their lives. So thank you for answering that.

13:30

Absolutely. in my just, I feel called to just share really quick. I was born and raised in China. Uh, I went to, I came to Canada when I was 20 years old. Um, my parents, uh, very typical, uh, at the time they got married when they were 20, not even 24. They had me right away. So they were very young considering, I think they were 20, not even 25 when they had me.

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From the age about five, six, onwards to about 13, 14, they beat me up on a daily basis. Very often it's because they lost their own temper. And in Chinese culture, a child is being viewed as a property. I'm not bashing Chinese, I love China, I'm a proud Chinese. And I'm just simply stating it as what it is.

14:27

Things have changed since then, 43 years ago. Yet back then, it was a reality. A lot of kids were being beat up at home as a form of punishment, as a form of discipline. In my house, both of them had a really high standard for my academic achievement. And in China, there's no such thing as privacy, all right? Even just one little quiz, one little quiz.

14:56

60, 70 kids in the same classroom, the teacher will rank every single kids, okay? Your name, your mark, your ranking. And you have to take that freaking piece of paper to your parents so they are aware of how good or how bad you are. If I don't get into the top three, my parents beat me up. That's their expectation. They don't know another way. their intention. Yes.

15:24

And it's very competitive in China, and their intention is for me to do good. And also, years later, I discovered very recently that um my parents, there are a story shared from my mother that uh when I was born, they didn't know the gender of the child. My mother thought I was a boy because she had a lot of, I had a

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I moved a lot in her belly. And she thought, oh, this baby is so active, it must be a boy. When I was born, my father, who was raised in the rural side, was very ingrained of the value of a boy. during that time, Chinese had single child policy. So this one child, you're done. I was born a girl. My father didn't talk to my mother for three, four days right after I was born.

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my mom shared that story to bashing my father to complain about my father. But I did not realize that story was so ingrained in me in my subconscious as you were not that worthy. You were a disappointment. I didn't even know any of that until a few years, only three years back. I'm 43, 40 years of that. And I came to the realization

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by growing my own awareness, increasing my own worthiness, I realized, oh my God, this story that my mother has shared with me over and over, again, never ill intended. Well, not towards me, towards my father. Maybe they're still together and they're still together. And yet it has planted a seed that is holding me back. So yeah, all of that is ta, here I am.

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Yeah, that's a hard story too, because it's, it's probably not. There was no possibility that your father was disappointed in you specifically. Right? Because he didn't know you. He was disappointed in the fact that a boy was not born and that a girl was born. But yet something like that plants its seed, whether we want it to or not, and it becomes a big giant tree if we

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if we keep watering it or we keep, you know, allowing that to to sit in there, even if subconsciously, it is where it is. Yeah, that's exactly the thing is subconsciously, of course, I would never intentionally to nurture a thought that is bashing my own self. Yeah, yet it is your kid. don't you? No, you're not American. That's we're we're trained to hate ourselves.

18:13

No, I mean, think it's I think that gives some context to to growing up. So I love that you went and told that story. Maybe you can kind of continue painting the picture of your life leading up to the main life shift moment, too, because I would imagine that some of your upbringing in China kind of defined who you were, at least until you came to Canada and started a new version of your life.

18:36

Yeah, and because of that, combining both, one is very conscious, you know, you don't get go great, your parents is going to beat it If you don't behave well, your parents is going to, you know, they're stronger, they're bigger. you'd better. I became a liar at a very young age. I was able to tell vivid lies because that was a survival mechanism. I thank goodness I don't do that intentionally.

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anymore. am very conscious of I want I am the opposite. I want to be transparent. I want to be truthful. I because I know I can still be a very good liar, making really good stories. And I recognize that more as a tool that I can make a choice to use. Most times I don't. I don't even lie to my kids because I was lied a lot as a kid.

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parents make a promise, never deliver. It was disappointment after disappointment. So I don't want my kids to experience that. I'll be very transparent with them to say, you know, you're not going to have this toy because you have, you know, a storage full of toys. You are, we're not going to get more rather than, that one is, is whatever face that anyhow. So, um, that's, that's my upbringing. And I was hot type A and because I want to please them.

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Yeah, again to survive. Right. You don't want to get hit. the lying and the pleasing people please. Yeah. Yeah. Perfectionist. Oh, totally. uh Very competitive. Well, China is a a gene generally is a very competitive country and culture to start with it because parents a common thing for parents to say, look at so and so how well they do in this and that look at you.

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And again, is when you grow, you know, I'm giggling, I'm not I'm not saying that is right. I'm not, you know, saying that is okay. I'm just simply saying it is it is what it is. It is what it the time in the 80s. It was the culture. It was the way that things happen. I mean, same in America, too. I think there was a lot of parents that would do more spanking than maybe parents do now. Right. And it's just because it was like, quote unquote, accepted.

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as part of parenting. And you know, we make decisions as we move forward. So I think that we're all kind of conditions of our society that surround us, obviously. So yeah, absolutely. fine to giggle. It's fine to giggle. I don't want anybody to hear this and feel like, she's is she okay? That I am. I'm great. It's because I can laugh about it. Not laugh at it.

21:25

is enough about it. And it's what your parents knew, right? It's, it's probably what they experienced, right? And, and there probably wasn't, I mean, I don't want to speak for your parents, but there probably wasn't an actual, like, mal intent. It was rather they want you to do well. And this is the only way they know how to force someone to do well, because that's what their parents did, or whatever it may be. Exactly. Would you agree that your parents were not like, mad? They weren't like,

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They didn't hate you, right? They were just trying to raise you to be the best. Exactly. My mom was the oldest and she was very much being treated the same way. My grandfather, my mom's dad was, was, um, so, so she was, he was the first and she was a girl. So there was this, you know, similar feeling, traditional feeling of, know, and she, she got, she was beat up when she was growing up. The same thing in family very often is because

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parents lost temper. And yeah, like my parents when they say, we want you to do so good, it's still because they got frustrated. And that's why they lashed out in a physical form. It's not because really, it's their own thinking, thinking that they want me to do good. And that's like you said, that's the only awareness they have. My dad on the outside is he was the youngest of six.

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And uh he was born in the rural area, very poor family. When he was born, legend said, I don't know. Again, my mother told those stories that he was my grandparents. My grandma actually threw him into the ditch because he couldn't afford to have another mouth to feed. It was another person from the village who is kind of related and couldn't bear this thought. he's like, he went to pick my father as the

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as a newborn out of the ditch and send it back to my grandparents' house to say, you cannot do this. Whatever will help to raise him. cannot. I know we are poor, even though my father never talks about any of this, but I can only imagine knowing what I know today, that impact, even though that infant has no awareness, conscious awareness.

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but energetically that impact. So again, all of this is to say there is, I believe there is a wonderful wave of shift in human consciousness, in human awareness. I believe at the end of the day, we are the most powerful energy we all have is love. That's why love is a simple, a heart. As long as we have this beating heart is coming from love.

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Just some people may not, based on their awareness, their expression of love is not very skillful, like in my parents' situation. Right, yeah. So why did you come to Canada? For, mom, to follow the train. for school. um So that was very, it's still very popular, even now, to go to a foreign country, study. I, back home, people say, especially, uh

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Western people would say our high school system is like hell. And I would say, I agree. It's very a lot of demand on, again, academic performance because our system is very different compared to North America or any other country. We have one exam we take at grade 12. And the mark of that one exam

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12 years of study, one exam determines whether you go to university or not, and if you go to a good one or not so good one. So you can imagine the pressure and the amount of study. In my grade, from the mid of grade 11 onwards, we go to school six and a half days a week. We only get Sunday afternoon off.

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And our day started at 7 a.m. By 7 a.m., you would better sit in your chair in your classroom. And we finished depending on the season. Summertime is a little bit later, around 10 o'clock p.m. And wintertime is around 9.30 p.m. So that is our life. That's the norm. And that is, I went to a really good high school. So that is like, yeah, amazing.

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great high school, that's how you do things. um That's a social norm. And that kind of pressure, I don't like that way of studying. We call it the feeding the duck, kind of forcing something down. I was okay, I was still very, know, elite student. um And I just didn't want to, I know the best schools I want to go to.

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the universities I couldn't get into it because it's just way too competitive out of the entire province. Maybe one or two very handful would get into the best universities. then I know I cannot go there based on my academic performance. So I thought about the idea of studying somewhere else, and I chose Canada. That's awesome. And so as you were going into college, were you

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mindset focus or what was your focus as you were kind of building your new version of your life? Because I'm a my guess is that this wasn't always you. No, Your guess is very correct. I was still very tough. Hey, let's go compete with every single bloody person in this room, because I need to be the best. Even though by this time, my parents are not beating me up anymore. They're they're not really just like

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Um, they want me to do well still yet. It's so ingrained in me. I didn't even know I was being competitive. Um, yet, you know, back then it was still, it's not your name, but your, your, your, uh, student number and with your mark. Cause privacy is a thing in Canada. And then, but still the entire class marks will be there. Not ranked is just.

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And I would compare my mark with everybody else. I would count to see, am I the 10th, the best, or am I on top three? That I see what's doing that. Again, it was so ingrained. uh And that being said, because I left home when I was 20, that gave me the freedom to really grow into who I'm meant to be. um Because nobody is there to give me the influence

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I even step out from the culture. I step into a brand new culture that embraces individuality, embraces freedom, embraces just really living this life. your own choice. And that's when I feel I'm very blessed that I had the opportunity and my parents was very supportive. is definitely a financial burden for them because

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You know, that's the the supporting me all financially independently. Yeah, what did you go to school for? Nutrition, okay. So you did you start building a career in nutrition or like yes. Yes, I I was trained as a registered I teaching I spent six years one undergrad and a master degree in nutrition became a registered dietitian that is the ink in oh

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being recognized as a healthcare professional. I loved what I studied because I love food. I'm a foodie. I love cooking, I love food, I love different things. And I'm always so curious of what happens within this incredible machine we call our body. Things our body are capable of doing, I've always been very curious about medicine. So it's a beautiful combination of nutrition, food, and medicine. um

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I was successful. It's a very competitive field. Only about 30 % of the students who enter the entire nutritional program, like a dietetic program, would actually become a registered dietitian because of how competitive the program is. I uh was first international student to receive her registered dietitian license in the province of Ontario.

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international students were studying nutrition. They were all studying business, know, economy, money related stuff. Here I am, I'm going to become a dietitian. And I did. And I was working in healthcare for eight years. Wow. Well, I mean, dedication, right? So take us closer to this life shift moment. what, what? I mean, because you're not doing that anymore. So what brought you to this? I know it's like a sudden burst that you had.

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at one point in life that brought you down this road. But I'd love to hear the lead up to that. was truly this whole thing of society, even in Canada, in most societies is you got trained in this, you study this, you do it for the rest of your life. Especially if you're getting into this, you become like a say a doctor, there's a license, your nurse, there's a

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License, dietician, there is a license. And it was so competitive to get. Don't you dare to change course. You stay in there for the rest of your life because that is the right thing to do. But I was not fulfilled from the very beginning. I loved my journey of becoming a registered dietician. Two weeks in, literally, I haven't even got my first paycheck. But I heard this voice just like, is this it? I don't think I like that as.

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I know like six years. Yeah, it was like six years of blood, sweat and tears. Literally, I had to take organic chemistry for crying out. There's no way I can change course. So I didn't, but that voice never left me. So I thought, okay, in order to quiet down that voice, my feeling was my thought back then was I have

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more potential and I'm not using it doing this job. I want to make a more meaningful impact in other people's lives. I'm not doing it as a registered dietitian, teach people how to count carbs. They can watch a YouTube video for that. So that was my struggle. So I thought, okay, in order to have more fulfillment and stay as a registered dietitian, I need to go climb the ladder. Let me get into management. Let me

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Let me get a fancier title and have raise and have a cell phone that is from my work. That would have fulfilled me. Well, that fulfilled my ego that really drained my spirit to the point leading into my, uh, to the point before that I got pregnant. became a manager and started managing people and uh had no idea what the heck I was doing.

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So if you're listening, I used to be a manager. I'm sorry. and, uh, and then I became pregnant and in Canada where I'm so grateful, uh, sorry to rob all of your fellow Americans. Um, yeah. want my turn to leave right now is 18 months. When I had my child, I was 12 months and I was allowed to also carry on all of my paid vacation. is in my.

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contract, had five weeks of paid vacation. And I can carry that into part of my maternity. So I took almost 14 months off when I was pregnant with my son. But leading into that, I was under so much stress and hormones with pregnancy as a this new manager role. I would cry in my car when I get home.

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And my husband would, you know, maybe 10, 20 minutes later, he would get home, he would freak out. He would think, oh my God, what happened to the baby? Or what happened to you that you were so upset? I was just so stressed out. But still I thought there's no way I can leave this career unless, unless I get a better, even better position. Maybe go back to school, do a PhD or become uh a physician. So.

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I still thinking upgrade my title was the way out. And I also to happiness, to fulfillment. I thought, no, turn out. And, and, and I was so looking forward to this, of course, being first time mom, thought, oh my gosh, I'm going to have 13 and a half months off. How awesome is that? And then the baby arrived. I thought, oh my God, this is not a vacation.

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Lots of work. It's a lot of work. Yes. A lot of stress. A of different stress. Yeah. Yeah. So yeah, fast forward to my moment. Yeah. Tell us. Yeah. So I went on my leave and I was really, um, just the idea of maybe I, maybe I create this job. It will pop up. Then I would immediately squeeze it out. No.

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uh paycheck, steady job is secure on top of how inflated my ego was being the manager. I was about to go back to school, to go back to work. I heard so many rumors that there's some structural change, people change. The person took my maternity leave, my position during my maternity leave. was, people legit,

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legitimately call her witch. they even invited the people to do rituals. um Because they believe she's like, for real. And I was like, Whoa, what am I? What am I going back to a coven? But people were like, you need to come back because we need to get rid of this. And I thought, okay, part of me thought I need to save my people.

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And then the CEO of the organization offered me a even better job. Sounds so good. It was literally designed just for me. There's no other people in this entire organization. He was describing me and it was a brand new position, a higher management position with more pay and so on and so forth. So I thought, okay, I'm going to be. Here comes happiness.

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Yes, yes. So I said yes. uh As you know, no, that didn't happen. It created even more of a torn. The part of me was just new. It's not about anything wrong about the organization. It's doing wonderful work. It's my calling is not a fit with where they're going. And it became...

37:42

After I went back to work, that job became truly soul sucking. There were many days I would arrive at work in a way to tell myself, okay, check your soul here, because if you want to survive. There were many days I would either feel so drained in the middle of the afternoon, I had to shut my office door and take a nap. And I would feel so guilty.

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because I was a bad employee or I would wake up thinking, okay, what excuse can I use? Maybe I'll say the dog is sick or something. Oh, wait a second. I used that last week already, um, to, call him sick. So I don't have to go again afterwards. will feel so guilty because I had that thought leading into this moment. Should I go into that moment? It was dry in, in Canada.

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is, you know, our summertime is beautiful, because our winter is brutal. So to make a contract, our summer is beautiful, perfect sunshine, there's no cloud in the sky. There I was woke up so early because I got another promotion, I'd better show up even earlier. That that's my ego saying that's the girl that got beat up on a regular basis, trying to please.

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So I left my house so early, my taller son was not even up. My husband was not even up. I went to work, nobody was there. Nobody told me to get to work early. I just felt like that little girl inside of me felt like I need to show up early. I was the first one in empty parking lot staying at this building door. I was like, that is a black hole. Is it gonna suck me into it?

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And I have no idea if I'm going to survive that day. I suddenly became so sad about I worked my butt off to be here. What on earth? What am I doing? This is sad. So I started to cry. Like I'm control body solving. Now reflecting back, I will probably was clinically depressed, but I never went to, cause I have always been this, you know, happy bubbly person. I never even went.

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It's like, no, um I don't know what I cried for. Probably just part of me realized you're in a parking lot and then your coworkers are going to arrive. They're going to have questions. You'd better not let them find out that you don't like your job. So I also, I was thinking about I'd better not ruin my makeup. So I just like go grab some we call Kleenex and just

40:38

right by my face. And that was the moment though, I thought, okay, this is not right. Something must change. I didn't have a plan of what to change. I didn't know what is my next move and nothing, but I just knew something must change. was a, nowadays I call it a very mentally clear spiritual decision. Change.

41:09

And my experience after that morning, I started to have different conversations with other people. I started to really entertain the idea of living in that workplace. And I started to be introduced to opportunities that I would never ever say yes before. I never thought I would be an entrepreneur. I never thought I would have built my own business. But it's because of that decision, I believe there is a higher power.

41:38

I believe there is higher wisdom. don't, even though I have a big head, I don't, I'm not that smart, but there is a higher wisdom guiding me along this line, along this life. I simply had enough connection in me to listen to that part of me. And fast forward, still stay in a workplace for a few more months to the point where I took a stress leaf.

42:07

a three week stress leave. The doctor, I went to see the doctor, I described what I'm experiencing. He's like, okay, yeah, absolutely. And I said, he asked me, my family doctor asked me, how long do you need to be off? I said, three weeks is fine, because I'm not gonna make a formal decision. And he said, you sure I can extend it to three months? I said, no, that's okay, thank you. Because I thought the problem is my struggle with my workplace.

42:37

for me to stay off work longer is not going to solve the problem. I would rather get to the solution. So rather than prolong this thing. So fast forward, it was January 16th, 2018. I officially handed the CEO my resignation letter. And I am very proud that I did not cause a kerfuffle. I didn't want to say, those people are witches. I simply came from my own integrity and dignity to say,

43:06

I can close my own chapter. This is up to me to close this chapter. Other people say, some of them, my friends said, you just wait for them to fire you because you can walk away with a package. thought, no, I, I, possibly, or it's just not feel right with me. I would rather to close this chapter on a high note. So, and I did.

43:36

um And as they say, rest was history. Would you say that that moment in the car when you were crying and realizing that like you were going to walk into the black hole again and maybe never come out? Would you say that that was a moment of like, letting go in a way of letting go of the need to do everything that you thought society wanted you to do?

44:02

I never thought that way. Thank you, Matt. You're bringing a shiny new light of that story. Steve Jobs said this, I'm paraphrasing. can only connect the dots afterwards, meaning when life are happening, we don't know what's happening. don't even know what's the lesson or gift in it, but we can reflect back onto it. That's one of the human gifts. Only humans can do it, which is reflection. As I'm reflecting back on my life, that moment was truly when

44:31

it got so bad that that's why I made that decision. It cannot go further. But yeah, you're absolutely right is that that is moment when when you took the reins kind of like it feels I mean, I can relate to it in so many ways. Because I think, you know, growing up in the 80s. Society had what I call a checklist. And it was very much like you do well in school, then you go to a good college, then you

45:00

get a good job, get promoted by a house, by a car, you know, like it was all these things that I assume that if I did them all, I would reach happiness or I would reach, like you say, fulfillment in a way. I, every time it was like, okay, I got the promotion, I didn't even celebrate it. It was just like, what's next? Like, what's the next thing I need to check off? Because I'm not happy yet. Right. And so I can relate to that so much. And, and probably I would say in my late 30s, as well, or early 40s,

45:29

was very much the point of what you're talking about here is where I'm making more decisions for myself and less decisions for what I thought society needed me to do or the young version of me was afraid that if I didn't do the right thing, my dad would leave. And so there was a lot of that abandonment element that would come into it. And so it's nice to finally like make decisions that I feel that are my own and I can own them.

45:57

in a way that if they go wrong, it's it's okay, because I can learn from that. And that was my decision. Do feel like after you gave your resignation, that was more of like your approach to life as well? Yes, it's, it's, um it's, it's, again, just going against the norm, the social norm, especially in my profession, I think he had any other profession, but in my profession is that you don't you you

46:24

I actually went through a period of time after I resigned, started building my own business, felt, part of me felt like I betrayed my profession. It took me a while to truly own my own ground. Like you said, this is who I am. This is part of my extension of who I am. This is what I made to do with the gift I'm giving through this power that's breathing me. And I only with humble pride,

46:53

with the celebration feeling and with this gratitude. And I know when I'm that I am being the best global citizen I can be and I'm doing my part to make humanity better for that moment. So that is very much echoing what you're saying. Yeah, absolutely. Was there a cultural element to it, you know, with your parents and kind of quitting on quitting on your journey, if you will, as parents might look at it?

47:24

Funny you say that. Again, going back to I was 20 and left home and that I started to become very independent. That my parents don't know Canada, they don't speak English and they cannot guide me. And know that they are not, they're never parents that want to guide me to study this one or don't study that. They just want me to do well. So, and because we had almost 20 years of a time where we're not together. So, um

47:53

I very much became this very independent thinker and living my life independently. So they probably had their thought about me quitting my very secure steady job and not be not be a dietitian anymore. But they never said it aloud. Anyway, they almost as I remember in my early 20s, I was in university, I talked to my to them every single week on the phone. There was one day my mom asked me, do you hate us for what we did?

48:24

And I don't know what happened to them, there's just like, she certainly said that. And I can genuinely back then to say, I don't, I really don't. I, not that I don't walk, didn't walk away with all those limiting thoughts about myself, but at that moment, the grown up me consciously, I don't hate them at all. I walked away with the pressure. I look at the, I'm a fantastic storyteller.

48:51

because of that curriculum or that experience, I'm very considerate about others' feelings because of that experience. I'm very caring and nurturer because of that experience. And I'm tough because of that experience. So I walked with all the good. I don't have any beef with my parents. Once forever, they moved to Canada seven years ago.

49:18

They have their own property here. I sponsor them to be immigrants and they are in my house helping me to raise my two children. I'm so grateful for that. Matt, I had not cooked for seven years because my dad is a fantastic cook and I'm so grateful for that. That doesn't mean I don't have work to do to take care of my inner child. um Really quickly, my inner child was the reason.

49:47

when our song was so easily conceived, the boom, first try, there you go. And when we wanted another child, it took us three years. uh It was because my inner child, that little girl in me, was so scared of life. And I never consciously acknowledged her. Never. Until the moment when I did, I was doing personal development.

50:14

I'm sitting in front of my coach at a training retreat. had the moment. Wait a second. I never acknowledge that little girl. I always tell her to shut up, be quiet, stay in the corner because I'm strong, I'm tough. can hang on to whatever. We are not a victim. We are never being abused. But that moment when I was trying so desperately wanting to get

50:43

pregnant again and the doctor is saying, you're fine. We don't know what's wrong with you. Um, yet that moment I realized, wow, this girl is kicking the life out of me because she knows this life is another girl and she's scared. This is my story. You can take it to whatever way, but that is the moment when I had that moment. It was life, another life shift for me a week later.

51:13

I too much information, but I peed on a stick. was two lines, all natural. And there she is. She is literally like another, like a mini me. She looks exactly like me. Um, and, she is so sassy and knowing that she's going to experience her life very, very differently compared to what I experienced. And also she give my parents, Oh, I'm going to cry.

51:43

another chance because they're in their 60s. They can, they both are just in a way spoiling her for them to experience being a parent to a girl again, to love her fully. So yeah, life shifts is a thing and going through them.

52:13

It's like, pardon my French are shitty. But if you have the courage to go through them, the gift you walk away, it's only going to make your life better. I truly believe that. So that though, yeah, those are the two. The second one was not planned. Yeah, and we have I mean, I was naive thinking everyone has just like one and it's like we have a lot of them and if we're lucky.

52:40

to have the awareness and the reflection and the ability to see how it serves the new version of our lives or how we changed because of it. I mean, it took me 20 something years to figure out my first one. But then once I figured myself out, once I had the self awareness that like I was my own human and I could do my own things and I didn't have to live for other people, felt very different. And so when life shifts come up, it's like, oh, like I...

53:08

I know how hard it feels right now. I know it feels impossible. I know it feels like I'm the only person on the planet that's ever experienced this. But I also know that logically I'm not. And I've gone through things before and moved through life in a new way. And it's like every time I have these conversations with people, you just see the resilience of the human being. If we are

53:35

I say lucky enough to move through it in a good way. Because some people experience really hard, traumatic things and they can't move through or move past it because of whatever's blocking them or no tools or whatever it may be. And so that's why I say if we're lucky enough to be able to move through it, we realize like, wow, we've come a long way. Like if you look at the version of you now and the version of you that came to Canada, like are they night and day?

54:04

Absolutely. I believe life is an upward spiral of becoming. In my 20s, when I first came, it was another upward spiral. And it's continuously spiraling because I call it so. My intention in living life is always expanding. Expanding my own awareness, expanding my possibility of making

54:31

doing something even bigger and better for humanity, for the planet Earth, for even just through my children, through my family, through myself, uh of course, through my work. It's a privilege, I believe, to live a life. Even though there are eight billion people on the planet Earth, it is like winning a lottery to have this human experience. did not, this spirit, it did not end up having a...

54:59

bird experience or a, you know, a butterfly experience. I'm like, I am as a human. can think differently. can sense differently. can express myself with other humans differently. So I have a job and I'm doing it. Uh, this is truly a beautiful thing to have the conscious awareness to say whatever happened in the past, I can choose to walk away with the gems, with a treasure in it.

55:30

And I'm not saying it's easy like you said, yet if we're lucky, if we have the awareness to say, I see the treasure and I can collect them for myself because this, this shine the light on earth. And together we are making the world a better place. Doesn't matter of how hard of the curriculum we're going through right now, we are making the world better.

55:56

We are not in the buggies and horses. We are not in the era of, you know, have to light a fire to warm ourselves or being chased by God knows what. we are, it's because we're evolving. That is by, by this divine design. And the evolution means is getting better and better. So it's very, it's, it's a, it's an awesome journey. Not always easy, but awesome.

56:26

No, and if it was easy, it probably wouldn't be as awesome. It too, absolutely. What's your favorite part about this new professional journey that you're on? Just one thing, you can't tell me more. What's your favorite part? Oh my gosh, Matt. My favorite part is when I witness my clients' eyes sparkle. Yeah, that's my For whatever reason. When it clicks.

56:55

My journey through moving through the grief of my mom 20 years later, in my early 30s, was when a therapist said a short sentence to me. And she was like, you realize that every decision that you've made is with that eight-year-old scared little boy brain, and you just haven't taken chances. And I was like, my...

57:16

everything, you know, just started unraveling. And I was like, wow, I really just wasted the last 20 years. But I think I learned on that. And so I can I can totally understand how you would feel when when it clicks for that person. So I love to ask these questions at the end. And I, I'd love to know if this version of you could knock on the window of the car of Lynn sitting in that parking lot, crying her eyes out that the

57:44

She was the co-worker that you were worried was going to see you. Is there anything you would want to tell her if she would roll down that window?

57:53

Keep going. Trust yourself. Trust yourself. Yeah, it's hard in those moments, right? It's so hard. You just feel like, I can't keep doing this. But it feels like that moment was kind of a clearing in a way or a way of you saying you can do it your own way. Yeah, yes. I love that. Absolutely. Absolutely.

58:18

No, I love this conversation. think it's so fascinating how we get to be the versions of us that we are. If neither of us had experienced what we experienced in our journeys, we wouldn't be having this conversation now. Absolutely. So we're lucky if we can look back and reflect and see how it's made us grow. So if people are listening to your story, they resonate with part of your story or something you said sparked something in them and they want to tell you their story or want to learn more about you, what's the best way

58:48

to find you to get in your orbit. Yeah, just look me up on either Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, uh those three main ways. uh Send me a message. I am truly, I'm passionate about helping people in whatever way I can to help them to discover, have those moments of their own eyes sparkle. Something just clicks.

59:15

And I know those moments lead into incredible transformation results. Even just, you know, knowing that life, there's this one quote I love so much. don't know where it's originally from, but this one shall pass. Whether it's hard times or good times, is life is filled with so many different colors. That makes life colorful. uh

59:44

whatever color sometimes is like a black dirty color, it's darkness. That is equally important as those bright, beautiful, colorful colors that make the entire picture wonderful. Yeah. And makes you, one makes you enjoy the other one in a different way or find respect for the other one in a different way. I agree completely. And we'll put

01:00:09

the links in the show notes so that people in the description for this episode, people can just kind of scroll down there and click it. I really encourage people listening, especially if maybe you're feeling alone or you're feeling like you you're afraid to take that leap or something that Lynn said today like spark something in you. I encourage you to reach out and share your story because there is so much power in telling your own story.

01:00:33

that I think there's a lot of value in that. mean, obviously, Lyn will get value in that too, of hearing someone else's story and hearing how her story impacted your own. So please reach out, connect with Lyn, do all the things, follow the LifeShift podcast, buy my new journal that I just put out in whatever month we're in. And I'm going to say thank you and I will be back next week with a brand new episode. Thanks so much, Lyn, for being a part of this journey. And thank you so much, Man, for having me. Yeah, it was a pleasure.

01:01:02

And thank you for laughing through some of it. And it's an honor.

01:01:19

For more information, please visit www.thelifeshiftpodcast.com