Breaking Free: How Permission to Be Happy Changed Everything for Carol Look
Have you ever felt trapped by the pain of a loved one's addiction, believing their recovery was the key to your own happiness? This was the journey of Carol Look, a psychotherapist and EFT practitioner, whose story reminds us of the power of giving ourselves permission to heal and be happy, regardless of others' choices.
When Helping Becomes Hurting
Carol's journey began in a place many of us fear - a rehab center, not for herself, but for her mother who was battling alcoholism. The guilt, shame, and hurt were palpable as Carol and her family grappled with the cycle of addiction and recovery.
We were angry, we were hurt. She wouldn't stop drinking. Then she'd stop, then she'd drink again. You know, anybody who's lived with alcoholism understands this pattern.
For Carol, the pain was amplified by the close relationship she shared with her mother. She couldn't understand why someone who loved her would continue to drink, despite the havoc it wreaked on their family.
The Permission to Be Happy
In the midst of this overwhelm, Carol experienced a life-shifting moment that would forever change her perspective. During a family group session at the rehab center, a recovering alcoholic shared her story and delivered a message that shattered Carol's worldview:
You can be happy and have a good life even if your alcoholic keeps drinking.
This simple yet profound statement gave Carol permission to prioritize her own happiness and well-being, regardless of her mother's choices. It was a radical shift from the hypervigilance and anxiety that had been front and center in her life.
The Journey from Anxiety to Healing
Carol's path to healing wasn't immediate. It took years of therapy, Al-Anon meetings, and personal growth to truly internalize the message she'd received at the rehab center.
She discovered that her anxiety wasn't solely about her mother's drinking - it was a learned response to years of unpredictability and emotional turmoil. Carol realized that true healing required more than just talking about her experiences; it needed a holistic approach that addressed her body's stress responses as well.
Finding Peace Through Energy Work
Carol's healing journey took an unexpected turn when she discovered energy work, particularly EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) or "tapping." This approach allowed her to address the trauma stored in her body and nervous system in a way that traditional talk therapy hadn't.
When I found tapping and EFT and some of those techniques, it was like, feel it in my nervous system. My poor little nervous system was so on edge and waiting and looking over my shoulder.
This discovery not only transformed Carol's personal healing journey but also became the cornerstone of her professional work as a therapist and coach.
The Ripple Effect of Personal Healing
Carol's story reminds us that personal healing has a ripple effect. As she found peace and happiness, she was able to forge a new, healthier relationship with her mother during her years of sobriety. Moreover, her journey inspired her to help others find their own path to healing.
Now, with 30 years of experience as a therapist and coach, Carol has touched countless lives, helping people overcome self-sabotaging behaviors and find their own permission to be happy.
Lessons for Our Own Journeys
Carol's story offers valuable insights for anyone struggling with a loved one's addiction or their own healing journey:
1. Give yourself permission to be happy: Your well-being doesn't have to be dependent on someone else's choices.
2. Seek support: Healing doesn't happen in isolation. Find communities and professionals who can guide you.
3. Address the body, not just the mind: Trauma and stress are stored in our bodies. Explore holistic approaches to healing.
4. Be patient with the process: Healing takes time. Be gentle with yourself as you navigate your journey.
5. Your story can help others: Sharing your experiences can provide hope and guidance to those still struggling.
As we reflect on Carol's journey, we're reminded that while we can't control others' choices, we always have the power to choose our own path to healing and happiness.
Have you ever felt trapped by someone else's struggles? How did you find the courage to prioritize your own well-being? Share your experiences in the comments below.
Listen to Carol’s Episode on The Life Shift Podcast
To learn more about Carol Look and her work in EFT and overcoming self-sabotage, visit her website at www.carollook.com.
