Leaving the Plan to Become the Person

00:00 Sometimes it takes a stranger to really see us. For Andrew, that stranger showed up at a restaurant table in Nashville and told him the words that would change everything. The world needed to hear his songs. Andrew shares how leaving behind a PhD program, coming out in a conservative family, and chasing a music dream led to a moment of validation that felt almost divine. It's a story about courage, about redefining success, 00:28 and about what happens when you finally stop living for others and start trusting your own voice. I told her that I had quite a few songs recorded that weren't released yet. I was just kind of sitting on these demos, but I didn't know what to do with them yet. And she just looked at me and she was like, whatever you have, the world needs to hear it now. And I was just kind of like, excuse me? Like, who are you? 00:53 What's happening? So crying, by the way. They left and I texted my partner at the time and was just like, I need to get these songs done. Like this song needs to come out. And I went home that night and I looked up this woman and I looked up her daughter. I couldn't find anything. Like nothing. I was like, I don't think these people actually exist. I literally scoured the internet for over an hour. I was like, I can't find this anywhere. Who's crazy? 01:23 So then looked at my best friend and I was like, do you believe in angels? Cause I think I just talked to one because I can't find her. And that song ended up kind of going viral. I'm Maciel Hoolie and this is the Life Shift. Candid conversations about the pivotal moments that have changed lives forever. 01:52 Hi everyone, welcome to the Life Shift Podcast. I am here with Andrew. Thank you for being a part of the Life Shift Podcast. Hey Matt, thanks for having me. This is something that I wish I could have listened to as a kid growing up. The whole concept of the show stems on a time when I was eight, my parents were divorced, lived states apart, I was visiting my father, and one day he had to sit me down to tell me that my mom had been killed in a motorcycle accident. And at that moment, 02:21 It felt like this was a line in the sand where nothing that I knew in my life was ever going to be the same. I lived with my mom full time. I lived in Massachusetts. Now I was going to have to live with a different parent. I was going to have to go to a new school, live in a new house. know, crazy stuff happened with my mom's family and I didn't get to keep any of my stuff. So I had to start over with everything new. And I also didn't have anyone around me modeling grief. 02:50 or trying to, or knowing how to help a child going through that. So I stuffed it down and I pretended I was happy and I pretended that I was fine because I thought that's what everyone wanted to see. And then about 20 plus years later, I figured out how to fully grieve the loss of my mom and it was really messy. And I tell you all of that because behind the scenes, I was like, do other people have these like singular moments or these line in the sand moments in which 03:19 one second to the next, everything's different, whether that's like who they are, how they move in the world, whatever it might be. And now I've just had the opportunity to talk to over 215 people about these external moments or even the internal moments of which, you know, they created their own internal fire and woke up one day and decided to quit everything and move, you know, wherever and kind of create a life for themselves. And I've just learned so much through people and I'm 03:48 really looking forward to hearing your story and how, you know, a moment in time, realizing that there's probably been a bunch of them, but a particular moment in time kind of changed the trajectory for you and moved you in a new direction. So again, thank you for just being part of this healing journey that I never knew I needed. Well, thank you for having me and we love a good healing moment. So we're all about that life now. It's 2025. Yeah. 04:17 It would be great to have done this earlier, but I'm not knocking it in my 40s. It's a good time to have it before I'm no longer. And I think that's, you know, we're all going to change and grow and who knows what tomorrow brings and it could be fantastic. It could be a new life shift. It could be just boring and just like the rest. But it's important to have these healing moments and these conversations. So I'm really looking forward to it. So before we get into your 04:47 story, maybe you can tell us who Andrew is in 2025. Like, how do you show up in the world? How do you identify? Like, when someone's like, who are you? What do you say? I guess if someone just straight asked me who am I, I would tell them that I am a country singer in Nashville, Tennessee, completely independent. Moved here about three years ago to chase the dream that I've always had. 05:12 I am a spiritual Christian man. believe in God, but was also raised in the conservative Catholic Church. I don't believe in a lot of that anymore, but I still believe in the deep spiritual side of humanity and healing. Like you talked about, I've been learning a lot about manifestation and how the brain works and just how powerful humans are and how pivotal that is to 05:39 all of our different journeys and how that sets the trajectory for our life in so many different ways, just with how we believe in how we shape our brains. So I'm a very deep thinker, musician, sad songs are my love language. And yeah, that's that's kind of me. I to think I'm fun too. Well, you can be a deep thinker and you can be fun. Sometimes you maybe are not a deep thinker when you're having fun. Yeah, exactly. 06:08 It's sometimes we get a little too deep and it's like, OK, we're we're out tonight, Andrew. Come on. It's time to have fun. Let's turn deep thinking Andrew off for a minute here. Yeah. You know, and sometimes we need to do that just for our own sanity. Sometimes we get so deep in our thoughts that we're like, oh, gosh, everything is this way or that way. And just shut it off for a little bit. I just talked to to someone recently who was like a go getter, like at 23, she was a CEO. Her first client was America AOL. 06:38 you know, like in the heyday of AOL and she was like just crushing it. And she got a cancer diagnosis and like went through that whole journey. towards like when she was feeling better and cancer free, she was like, I had to learn who I was and I had to learn what is fun. And so that made me think of like, okay, how do we actually define what is fun? 07:04 Or is it predefined? Is it something that we can create? And it was really an interesting conversation or a pivot that I was like, oh, wow, I've never really actually thought about what I consider fun and why I consider it fun. there goes that thinking about fun. Yeah. No, I mean, what's kind of crazy is I feel like a lot of us, especially ones that grew up in like 80s, 90s, 2000, early 2000s, a lot of us kind of have that moment in like 20s, 30s, maybe even our 40s where we just kind of have to like 07:32 step back and be like, what was I taught about what is fun, what does success mean? And how am I redefining that? Because everybody has a very different outlook on what it means to be successful on what it means to have fun. And that's kind of a scary thing to like really dig deep and journal and be like, what what do I really want to do with my life? Am I actually enjoying myself? Like that's just 08:02 a crazy thing. I think a lot of people during the pandemic time period, I think it reset a lot of people in a way where they were like, now I'm home, I have more time on my hands. What do I really want? Like, was I just on the conveyor belt? And can I step off and can I do my own thing? And for some, yes, they changed their lives in a wild way. And then some just, you know, got right back on. 08:32 conveyor belts and that's how we do. We're human. can't follow the exact path of someone else and always be content, I guess. During the pandemic, I definitely had a little bit of a moment of, I really doing what I want to do with my life? And then just felt like I snapped out of it. And it was just like, nah, like I don't deal with this. So my like real come to Jesus moment wasn't for 09:01 couple years after that, but. Oh really? Yeah. It came, right? Yeah, during the pandemic, I was so bored. And so was like, oh, I'll just get a second master's degree because I'm bored. Why that's what one does. But what happened is I, this time for this graduate degree, I was like, I'm going to take things that scare me because I have nothing to prove to anyone. Whereas when I was getting my MBA, when I was like 22, 23, 09:30 I felt like, oh, I have to get an A plus and show everyone I'm a badass so that I can get a good job and all the things that come with that. But this time, I took things that scared me, and one was a podcasting class. And here we are, nearly four years later. say, that worked out. Exactly. And I don't think I would have been sharing my feelings and my thoughts of the world and how other people operate in the world and how I operate in the world had I not taken that degree because I was born. So all the things kind of unfolded in it. 10:00 in an interesting way. So I think that happened to others as well. And we're better for it, maybe. Some of us worse for it. I think so. Mostly better. Let's go with better. Let's be positive. Well, let's kind of hear the before version of Andrew. So maybe paint the picture of your life leading up to the life shift moment that we're going to talk about today. And however far back it makes sense to go, you are welcome to do that. Yeah. 10:29 Let's see, I grew up in Ohio, in a small town far eastern Ohio. I have four brothers and four sisters. So we were one big Catholic family. Yes, very conservative. And my whole life was pretty much just drawn toward education. Both of my parents are teachers in some fashion. My dad's a research writer. My mom's a school teacher. And I was always just kind of, it was just drilled in my head that like you have to go 10:59 get like this big degree, go get your PhD, and then like go into the workforce and like that's gonna be how you're successful. And I was always good at math and science in school. So that's just what I went for. I got my degree in biochemistry, my bachelor's, and then I was working on my PhD in biochemistry and mechanical physics as well. Because that was just... 11:25 Yeah, no, no thank you to me anymore. I hate it now. But at the time, like that was my perceived notion of success was getting a job, getting the degree and then also finding a wife, having kids, like living this kind of rigid society and Catholic family. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, we are. mean, so many of us just did the next check mark on the list. So I think there's a lot of people listening that can totally relate to like, oh, 11:55 I have to do this because this will equal uh success as a human. Right. These are all the things you need to do. Kind of. mean, I still feel like I talk to people that still do this kind of like a checkmark thing and like, oh, that's not the practical thing. Or I do this because like this is going to make me money or whatever. like now I cringe at the time I would have like a couple of years ago, I would have just been like, well, yeah, that makes sense. And now it's like. 12:23 I just cringe at that idea because I'm like, used to be like that. I used to be so rigid and now I just kind of go and do what I want. And I feel so much more happy and fulfilled. Because I, like I said, was working on my PhD and I knew that I always loved music. I loved writing music. I loved making it. I mean, I was really supposed to be doing research and grading papers. And instead I spent a lot of that time writing songs and 12:53 planning when I was going to record my next EP or whatever. Like I was very drawn toward that whole side of being an independent musician while I was supposed to be focused on my PhD. And eventually I just kind of said, it to all of that and dropped out of my PhD program. I got a job serving tables at a Texas roadhouse of all places. 13:18 I had never served tables before. was just kind of like, well, this is a job. We're going to now figure it out and I'm just going to make music. Yeah. How did your parents react to you kind of leaving that that conveyor belt as we talked about? was kind of an interesting conglomerate of a lot of different feelings. My parents, on the one hand, they were very happy that I was leaving this program because they saw how miserable I was. But 13:48 I also came out that same month that I dropped out of grad school. So it was like, oh, the successful, rigid go-getter child has now turned into the PhD dropout homosexual. Fantastic. So it was just this whole thing. And I had to really sort through that myself because I felt like such a failure, even though 14:18 It was like, Hey, I'm just trying to do me now trying to find out who that person is. I was what 24 when that started happening. So I came out kind of late, but I just was like, we're going to figure out how to do it. And we're going to just not really give a crap what people think because I've only done that my whole life. And I feel like now is the time to really like dial in and figure out what I want. 14:48 Yeah, and find just like follow your heart and what feels more authentic for you. Were you a people pleaser before that? Like, oh gosh, So, I mean, you did it for long time. Oh, yeah, we got 24 years out of it. It was great. I, soon as I turned 24, I said, no, not doing it anymore. So in the grand scheme of things, that's pretty early for a people pleaser to... 15:16 kind of abandoned some of those things. So good on you. Kudos to you. You know, my mom always said that I was the bullheaded child. So she, she says I was the kid that she worried about the most because of my nine siblings. She's like, you were the one that I knew that no matter what I told you at the end of the day, you were just going to do whatever you wanted. And while she's right, I'm the only kid that's like, I'm just going to do what I want. 15:47 Good for you. mean, maybe she probably already knew that you were gonna follow your own path based on what she said, but you still tried to please them by doing the quote unquote right thing as you were moving through the world. And even now, there's a lot of respect, a lot of love for my family, for my parents, for the religion that I was raised in. 16:16 That relationship was very, very strained for a couple years there. Like I didn't go home for Christmas for the first time and that was weird. It was just, it was really hard for a while there. Really the being gay part was the hardest thing. But we sort of- of their beliefs. Exactly. Did you battle that because of your beliefs coming in? Did you have that challenge? 100%. 16:44 I mean, I knew for years and I just, I mean, I remember sobbing in bed and just like begging God to take it away. Cause I was just like, I don't want this. Like how am I supposed to live with this? We're good now, but for a while there, was rough. Yeah. And it's not an uncommon story. I think it's a very common story, especially for people that have grown up in a strict religion in that way that doesn't 17:13 quite agree with living your life as your authentic self in that way, right? So I think that's pretty common. And I think if only you could just make things that you didn't want to go away, but then would you be you? Right. I mean, I, if I talked to my parents a few months ago and I said that if I had stuck with my PhD program, I would have my PhD right now. And I kind of shuttered 17:43 when I think about what my life would be like right now had I not just dropped out and done my own thing. Like, would I still be? And all of that, I don't, I don't know. It's a really freaky feeling. Yeah. And knowing probably full well that you just weren't enjoying the things that you were doing. So many of us have done that where we just kind of move through the world, whether we like it or not, because 18:13 of whatever reasoning we have behind it, whether that's for me. I have something very similar of like moving through the world after my mom died, I thought, if I'm not perfect, my dad's also going to abandon me. And so I just became a perfectionist and I just did the things. Like I never pushed myself. I would push myself to do something as long as I knew that I could do it well. 18:38 Like, oh, that's a little bit difficult, but I know I'll be good at it. And so therefore, my dad won't leave. He was never going to leave, but I just assumed that everyone needs to see me happy and be perfect. And so I did that for like, probably still doing it at some points where and my dad's like, I don't care what you're doing. You know, like, and so I got, know, like my first, my undergraduate and my, my MBA, I didn't want to do that. 19:07 I want to do radio and television. And I dropped out of that program because I got a C. So I feel it. It's like, what if I had stayed in that? I'd probably be the opposite of you. What if I stayed? I'd be like, oh my god, I'd probably be really happy. But we make our decisions and we follow our paths. And I think that we have to reconcile with some of those things and then move forward with them and not do them again. And I think if we had stayed on those original paths that we 19:36 paved out for ourselves, we would be asking ourselves what would happen if I just did what I actually wanted and change the trajectory of my life to what is true to myself. Yeah. It's hard. It's hard being a human sometimes, but it really is. I always tell my friends, I'm like, I've completed my couple year trial of adulthood. How do I cancel? Like, I'm over this now. Yeah, I agree. 20:06 And you know, at some point though, I got to a place where all the things that I felt like I wasn't allowed to talk about as a kid or as a teenager or even in my 20s, now I'm just like full blast, like here it is, you don't like it? Fine, not doing it for you to like me anymore, right? I'm gonna share if I have a really crappy day, I'm gonna share if I'm feeling down, I'm gonna share if I'm really happy. These are all parts of being a human and I think for so long, it was like, here's the box of things you can talk about. 20:36 in any conversation, let's move forward. And now I'm just like, here it is. If you want to stick around, I'd love it. But if it's not for you, cool. What's kind of funny about you mentioning that is kind of toward the end of sort of the life shift moment story that I'm going to get into in a minute is kind of that concept right there in the last couple of months. 21:01 really just coming to terms with the fact that not everybody is going to like you and not everybody is going to agree with you and you're just gonna have to be okay with that. And from a business standpoint, the more people disagree with you, the more people you're gonna find that actually love you and that creates a really strong brand. Yeah. I also think once you free yourself of having to get that approval or people liking you, you create more... 21:29 authentic content you create better and more focused content and that's when you find not the you know bandwagon fans because you had a hit more of like oh I want to stick around for those because I really resonate with with this person. Anyway you're working at Texas Roadhouse but then what happened? I mean I was just recording music in my bedroom and figuring out 21:58 honestly how to do all of that. Like I was reaching out to musicians in Africa, whatever. I was just bootstrapping the whole thing because I had never talked to a music industry professional. I didn't know what I was doing. I was just, you know, figuring out mom was right. If I want something, I'm just going to do it. And I did that for about a year. And I made one of my very best friends at that restaurant. And the following July, I just looked at her and I was like, I 22:28 I I need to be in Nashville. I don't know why, but I feel like that's where God is calling me. And about two weeks later, I had a truck booked and everything. by like September 2nd, September 3rd, something like that, I was in my new house and she moved with me for the first two years that we were here. 22:51 I had never been to Nashville. had no connections in Nashville. I didn't even have a job yet. I was like, we just, we need to figure this out. Yeah. So got to Nashville and just started figuring it out. And that was the first year was miserable. It was so miserable. And everybody always says the first year in Nashville is your hardest one. And I was like, well, that's definitely true. Cause I, I wanted to leave so bad. What was so bad about it? was just, it was just, mean like job changes and like 23:21 figuring out where to kind of get started with everything. Like once you kind of start making connections and you start learning the business, then it's kind of like a snowball effect. Like it just kind of gets easier and like more things start to happen. But when you're first getting going, I mean, you get there and somebody asks you, are you a musician? And I'm like, yeah, I'm a singer. And they just kind of go, oh, like you're not special because 23:49 you moved to Nashville to do music like you and probably 50 other people outside this window on the street. They all write songs. So. Yeah, it's a hard industry to the very hard industry, but it's also one of the most fulfilling ones that I've found for myself. So very grateful to be here now. And yeah, I just have serving tables. I still serving tables. And one day uh 24:18 I had met this, I think it was Wednesday morning, I want to say it was. Just a normal shift at my job downtown, nothing special. This mother and daughter come in and they sit at my table, start serving them. I think they got like a margarita pizza or something. I don't even remember. was just nothing special was happening. And every once in a while you kind of have a table that kind of strikes up a little bit of a conversation with you. So we were chatting and they were my only table at the time. So it was like, okay, let's talk. 24:49 And there was just, I don't know, there was an energy at the table that I couldn't really put my finger on. She started asking me questions about my life and like, you know, me being a musician came up, me moving to Nashville. Eventually, like my coming out story came to her and like my relationship with God and spirituality started to come up, just like all these things. And eventually, like, we're both like crying. 25:18 me and this mother are like crying at this table. I almost like felt bad for her daughter sitting across from her because she's probably like, what's going on? Like, why is the server literally crying to my mom on a random Wednesday morning? Like, what's going on? And then she started telling me about how she had just lost her husband. Like, I want to say it was a year ago or something that she had written a book about it. And she found also very similar spiritual experiences through that. 25:47 and kind of unpacked a lot of her own life. And I told her that I had quite a few songs recorded that weren't released yet. I was just kind of sitting on these demos, but I didn't know what to do with them yet. And she just looked at me and she was like, whatever you have, the world needs to hear it now. And I was just kind of like, excuse me? Like, who are you? What's happening? Still crying, by the way. 26:17 And I ended up getting her name and I got the name of the book. I have it written down somewhere in my notes on my phone and paid them out and everything. They left. And I texted my partner at the time. It was just like, I need to get these songs done. Like this song needs to come out. And I went home that night and I looked up this woman and I looked up her daughter. I couldn't find anything. Like nothing. I was like. 26:46 I don't think these people actually exist. I literally scoured the internet for over an hour. I was like, I can't find this anywhere. Who's crazy. So I looked at my best friend and I was like, do you believe in angels? Cause I think I just talked to one because I can't find her. And that song ended up kind of going viral and it charted on iTunes and country. was my very first song. had no connections. I was just posting tech talk, tech talks. didn't know what I was doing. 27:16 And it built me the fan base that I have now. It crowdfunded my full album. Like it just kind of flipped everything for me. Like I went from just so depressed and aimless to being like, oh, okay. Like now we have a direction in Nashville. Which I mean, all of that was just to feel so affirmed in not only my sexuality, but also in 27:44 my spirituality in my career path, my dreams, like it just validated everything that I did two years prior when I left my PhD program and I came out and I left the church and I did all this stuff. it was like, God just said, you needed an angel right then and there to solidify this decision for you. And since then he's sent countless angels from investors to 28:13 Scott randomly walked into my life and now he's my publicist. I mean, God just sends angel after angel to me now. And it's just like, anytime I even doubt one little thing, God's just like, okay, here you go. Here's another one. So. Yeah. It sounds like that moment was a moment where a stranger saw you, like fully, fully exposed and all the pieces and was... 28:41 willing and you had someone that like was really bought in. I think it's different when a friend or someone close to you does it, but when a stranger sees you for just being you and validating it, it can be triggering in the most beautiful of ways because it's like all the things that I've been thinking about myself deep down, the good things that I've been thinking about myself deep down, far outweigh 29:08 all the fake stories I've been telling myself about, was this the right decision? Should I have done this? All the things, all the self-doubt that we let creep in. Do you think, were you on good speaking terms with your mom at this time? I'm trying to think. We were, I mean, we had never been on a not speaking term, but I want to say that it was still pretty strained at the time. 29:35 I only ask that because this mother type figure came in in an angel like way. And I wonder if that was more impactful. if probably that feeling because for me, like growing up, it was always like I gravitated to like everybody's mother because they didn't have one and I needed I needed to feel what that. 30:00 that love or that attention felt like. And so when you're telling your story, maybe I'm inserting myself in there. But I was curious if you thought that her being a mother had any weight in the impact that it had. Yeah. I mean, probably that and her daughter being across the table and her daughter also affirming this, like just kind of nodding and listening to her mother. I think especially 30:30 being a gay man to have a mother just treat it so normally. I had not been exposed to that. I was raised in a very conservative small town where like that's just not really a thing. For the daughter to be like 10 years old, she was like just so chill about it. And I think that just hit me so hard at 24, 25 years old. 30:57 I just had never seen that before and I felt validated. I felt seen, I felt heard. Did it build your confidence or did you already have all that confidence? Because it seems like you ran after that moment to get your stuff done, the things that you were thinking about. Yeah. I think I had a lot of confidence that was kind of... It was shifting. Like it was just kind of... It was there, but it wasn't very solid. 31:27 So when that moment happened, that was kind of the tipping point validation that I needed to just be like, okay, now we're just going to do it. And over the years since then, it's just been like ramping up to where I'm like, yeah, I don't really need somebody to tell me if this is a good song or not. like it. Like, that's important. That's important. I mean, how many artists put out songs that they hate a lot? Yeah, yeah. 31:55 Which that's why I don't sign to a record label and that is a whole other conversation we can have another time. Yeah. No, think it, I think, but even still, bet there are independent artists that table a song because they're like, oh, it's not this or it's not that. they get caught up in what they think other people need versus like really leaning in. This is what I need and this is what I need to share with the world. I... 32:24 It's a big, that's, mean, kudos to you again, I'll say that. I mean, congrats to you for believing in yourself and your story. And I love sad songs too. Are they all sad? Most of them are sad. Yeah. Are I released one earlier. Yeah, every single one of them is. They're all based off of my own story. And I've gotten a lot of DMs asking like, are these like autobiographical? And I'm like, yeah. 32:53 Unfortunately, these are autobiographical. What's actually I wanted to touch really quick on what you just said about how not all artists love their songs and they don't always feel like they're completely authentic and that they feel like pressure to release something. What's kind of crazy is that Angel gave me the confidence to really start putting out music. And then once I did and I started getting this following, I realized kind of what they wanted. 33:24 And I felt like I was shifting my lyrics on the full album to fit this brand of what people really wanted. And that's been what's happened for the last two years. Even though the record is called Feeling Outside the Lines, and it's all about finding who you are and stepping out, I feel like I've had countless conversations with my manager and my publicist about how 33:53 these songs don't feel authentic in so many ways to me because they feel so geared toward like this experience or that experience. And while some of it was truly my experience, I felt like I was filtering so much to appease or to interest rather gay people that listen to country music. And in the last couple of months, I've just been like, 34:20 I am not trying to sing about how I just like boys. Like that is not my human experience. Like that is a part of me. like, bro, I moved here to make music. why do I? Yeah. Like there's just there's so much in there to unpack that has really been weighing on me a lot in the last couple of months. And I feel like the songs that I'm writing as we speak today are so much more just 34:51 Now I feel like I'm doing what I want. I'm really just going off the rails and do they come out easier? They do, which is crazy. I just finished writing a song a week ago and I was like almost in tears with my co-writer because in a few days I'm going to play it at a writer's round. And I was just like, I am so excited to play music in Nashville that 35:21 I love, finally. finally I have songs I can play that I just love every bit of. And that's just insane. So this angel was like the tipping point to like get music out. And as the years have gone on now, I'm really building the confidence. Exactly. Yeah. To just do whatever I do, whatever I want. Yeah. I mean, it goes back to what we were saying earlier of just the more we can 35:50 our full selves into whatever we're doing, the right people are going to find you. I don't think... I even... I mean, this could be totally naive of me, but I feel like even if your first album, you didn't curate as much to the quote-unquote needs of your audience. 36:12 I bet they would still resonate. You know, I feel like, I mean, maybe not, but I feel like when you know something is real from someone's real lived experience, no frosting on it, no like extra, you know, let me add this, because that's so controversial or whatever it be, I feel like you just feel it. You like kind of live in it. Like when I listen to Sara Bareilles, like that hits. 36:43 my soul. Like, I know when she sings Gravity that like, she meant every single word of that. I also know that she's very tongue in cheek. And when she wrote Love Song, she was like, screw you record label, you want me to write a love song? Here it is. You know, and so yeah, like you can feel it. And so I think that, you know, and that worked out for her very well. Because when she was an indie artist, she was doing the same thing that she was she stuck true to herself and 37:12 Here we are. I'm so glad that you are creating things that light you up fully and not like 65%. It worked, yeah. Now in the 90 to 100 % era. Yeah. I'm sure there are certain things you have to kind of change or manipulate a little bit to accommodate the song or whatever theme you're trying to do. Yeah. 37:41 But even just like with my brand, I'm just kind of shifting everything to really just what I want. And as a Christian man finding what makes sense, what doesn't, like I said, I learned, I've been learning a lot about manifestation and just how much ties into Christianity and learning about these different religions and how much like they all just mirror one another and 38:12 really like living in the gray and not in the black and white world that I was presented. And that's like the deeper I get into the gray, the better songs are right. The closer to God I feel, the more comfortable myself I feel being, you know, gay, but like, oh, you don't have to agree with like X, Y, Z just because like this is what like your community says or whatever, you know, like just learning more about myself. 38:41 Like living your own life instead of the predetermined life that other people like to place on people that are not them. And literally it was like, you have to be a certain way. You're right. You have. I remember being told by my ex partner that like your shorts have to be like this long. Like they have to be five inch seams, specifically five inch seams. And that's like forever ingrained in my head because I was just like, why? 39:10 Like, I'm not wearing that, that's not me. But at the time it was like, okay, wonder if I wanna wear Capri pants. Yeah, right? God forbid. Yeah, no, I mean, I think it's, I mean, for you being so, I know you probably don't feel like you're so young, but like to discover the confidence to be a full person unapologetically in whatever way that looks like is a gift. 39:39 I mean, a gift not only to yourself, because I think it's going to make the next bunch of years really meaningful and amazing for you. I mean, there are going to be bumps and things like that, because that's a normal journey. But all the people that interact with you and learn from you and hear from you, living this unapologetic version of yourself, feels like it's a gift to so many people. I know this is going to be kind of selfish, maybe, but do you ever 40:09 think that, that by what you're doing, you're modeling or helping other people in that way? I do think that now, and only because I've been approached by like fellow servers at my job or just other friends, people in my life that um just come up to me and they're like, I see your social media and I'm just like so inspired. 40:33 by what you do and you just don't take no for an answer and you just go after whatever it is you want. And from my perspective, I'm like, I'm just doing me and I'm just living my life. Like I ain't trying to impress anybody. I'm not trying to do anything like crazy and outlandish, but to so many people, it's such an inspiration because I guess they just don't do that with their lives or they've never been modeled that or something. And yeah, I like definitely don't mean that in any kind of a cocky way, but 41:02 I hope that it is inspiring to other people to be unapologetic. Well, I think it is. I think it is because like we've been talking about, like society doesn't... The rules that society, that we absorb from society is we have to do things a certain way, blend in, you know, like, and just follow the predetermined path. And so many people now, thankfully, are, especially younger generations, are kind of like, nope. 41:32 not gonna do that. I'm gonna like burn my own path through the woods and figure out like the direction that I want to go and not not take that highway, right? Like I'm just gonna go off and this is stupid metaphor, but like I'm just gonna go off and find my own way to Nashville, but whatever that looks like. And I love it. Like I think of that 18 year old version of me that was in the radio and television program in college and be like, what if he had just like 42:01 gone to New York and auditioned for TRL, because that was Total Request Live, was the thing that I wanted to do. I wanted to be Carson Daly. I mean, maybe it wouldn't have worked out, but I would have tried, right? Like I would have known. So I think that you're inspiring people just by being yourself, whether you're trying to or not, you know, do those things. I think it's beautiful and rare. 42:30 I think the universe matches what you do. If you put out these changes in your life, you make these leaps and bounds, the universe will match that energy and bring you connections, bring you whatever. And may not, like you said, turn out exactly the way you pictured, but you're at least going to be making steps and you're changing the trajectory of your life toward whatever it is that you want. And it gradually just gets easier. Yeah, that's snowball. I picture... 42:59 And I know if you saw me do it, but I pictured that woman and her daughter, that interaction, like you were at the top of the mountain and like she flicked you off. Like, and then you just started like building the momentum and like growing. She just said jump and I said, okay, okay, let's go. But you were prepared. You were like on the diving board. Like, here we go. Another metaphor. You were on, you know, the ready to jump. 43:27 but maybe a little bit apprehensive about how far it might be to get where you need to go. And she was like, you can do it. And you were like, OK. And then you did it. And then all the fruits of your labor start to show and build and build and build. And like you said, that snowball effect is just unfolding for you, which is cool considering that how long has it been? 43:54 I just hit three years in Nashville now. It's been two years since I met her though. Yeah. So, I mean, you're two years into growing whatever this is going to become. And now you're two years in, are more intentional about building your brand to be as aligned as possible to who you are as a human versus whatever you thought you needed to curate at first. Yeah. 44:23 I 100 % agree with that. Do you feel good? 44:29 That's a loaded question. on. Yeah, mean, that is feeling good is something that I'm learning how to do, kind of like what we said at the beginning with learning how to have fun. Like, what does that mean? Feeling good is something I'm learning. Feeling proud is another thing I'm learning. I just had a meeting two weeks ago with somebody in the industry. Then I told them a very similar story about how like my first song went viral and it just kind of like. 44:55 did this whole thing, whatever. she was just like, that was your first song ever. And I was like, yeah. And she's like, you need to be proud of that. Because I talked to artists who've been here for 10 years, and they don't go anywhere. I'm just like, learning how to actually be proud of myself, feeling good about my life is, I'm still learning how to do that. And that's hard. That's really hard to do sometimes. Definitely. 45:23 especially the way you were raised and the kind of trajectory that you were originally on, it sounds like it was like, okay, hit the mark, next mark versus hit the mark. Cool, let's celebrate. Let's, I mean, maybe I'm projecting here again, but I was always just looking like, okay, I did that. Now let's move on. I got to do the next check mark. Were you similar in that way? Oh my gosh. Yeah. Like literally we'll release a song. 45:51 And my manager and publicist are like, oh my gosh, like now you have to like celebrate it's out, whatever. And I'm like, I gotta go right the next one now. So have fun. you gotta build that practice then. Gotta build that practice of being proud and celebrating it. Because it's a big feat. You know all the work that goes into it. mean, it's. It's similar to like the podcasting journey, except there's no money in podcasting unless you unless you. 46:20 work for Dateline NBC. But there's a lot of work behind the scenes that when people are listening to your song, they don't realize that you had just spent X amount of time creating that. From idea inception to writing it to recording it to mastering it to getting it distributed. There's a going There's a lot of steps behind the scenes for sure. I should do a whole start to finish vlog. 46:48 about that someday. You guys want to know what it's actually like? It's a lot. Yeah. And not to tell anyone, like, celebrate me more, but rather, like, I'm telling you, celebrate you more. Because that's a lot of work. You know, you're putting in this. also, now it's out in the world. You don't know 10 years from now when someone hears that song how it's going to change their life. Mm-hmm. I mean, that's cool. Or how it could change your own career. 47:18 Well, that too. That would be nice. Yeah, that would be nice too. That would be great, actually. We want you to perform at the Super Bowl, so let's go. They don't pay you, actually, so you don't want that. You get exposure. The exposure, man. Come on, that would just be fun. In a stadium, that's ultimate goal, play a stadium. Yeah. Well, maybe you can just do it when Taylor Swift does it. You can just join her. 47:47 Be fine. Yeah, right. I could open for Taylor someday. Like, we're going to be friends someday. That's in my manifestation journal. I'm like, yeah, I'm going to be friends with Taylor Swift someday. We're going to hang. I feel like she'd be a good friend. uh Even as rich as she is and as famous as she is, I think she'd be pretty good. So she's probably listening right now. So hey, Taylor. But anyway, I would like to know. like she's Joe. Yeah. And it seems like she cares a lot. 48:15 about the people around her and protecting the people around her and just being a good human. So I'm down for that. Also aligned with what you're leaning into now, it feels like she's pretty authentic. I feel like she's not faking a lot of her life, at least what she shows to the public. So, let's have a Taylor Swift podcast. I would like to ask you what I kind of ask everyone else and I think about this, 48:45 2025 version of Andrew kind of leaning into yourself, full-throated, full-heart, purpose-driven. Is there anything you want to say to that version of Andrew that was struggling that first year in Nashville and kind of wondering what life was all about? Is there anything you want to tell him? 49:09 Are you trying to make me cry now? Like I wasn't planning on crying today. You're like 100%. I'm trying to make you cry. At least you're honest. I guess what I would say to him is whatever you're doing, keep doing it because it's going to work out. You're going to cry and 49:31 It's gonna be hard, you got this. It's all just gonna get better. You can have whatever you want. So go after it. Would he believe you? 49:46 I don't know that he would have believed me then. That's something that is actually a development within the last like month or two of my life is you can have whatever you want. Your mind is so powerful. Like you are literally a part of God and you create in this universe. So create your dream life. You can have it all. 50:14 Yeah, you know, it's so like that response to like, it's going to be okay, keep moving forward is such a common thing that we all would say to that younger version of ourselves, wherever that may be. Like, even in my case, like, you're going to be okay. This is, but at the moment, we all kind of feel like, I don't know if I can do this. Like, this feels really hard. Am I actually going to make it through this? And 50:43 A byproduct of this podcast for me is having all these conversations and just seeing wildly different stories, but the resilience of people, like the human spirit is so resilient. And if we're willing to keep going, take the next step, step in the mud, know, clean ourselves off, try again, it is going to be okay. And it might be better than okay for a lot of people. 51:12 So, you know, I think it's something that I think about often now when I get into a space that is really hard and I feel like I'm never gonna get out of this. I think about these stories and I think about all the other people like yourself and how we have. Like last year I lost my first dog that I've had as an independent human after 14 and a half years. So he met me when I was a hot mess, hadn't grieved my mom yet. 51:42 I was 29 years old and I lost him last year. And I thought, like, I lost my mom, lost my grandmother, really close to both. I thought I was a pro at grief at this point in my life. And then that threw me for a loop. And as much as I felt like I'm never going to get out of this, I also knew that I had to be honoring myself. I had to honor who I was, how I was going to move through this, and knew that eventually, however long it took, I was going to make it through. 52:12 I don't know if it came from having all these conversations, but I think having these conversations and learning from other people made me realize like I'm a lot stronger even in those moments than I thought I was. I love that. And I kind of want to reiterate what you just said of whenever you pick yourself up and you're willing to like go through the dirty work, it's really that moment of your life where you just decide there is no other option. 52:41 this is my reality, it's going to be okay. It is okay, I've decided that it's okay. That's when things really start to shift. Yeah, and I think a lot of that can be bolstered by really leaning into the authenticity of yourself and really believing the true nature of who you are. Because I think if that's the direction you want to go and you're living, breathing that version, 53:10 makes it, although hard, makes it easier to take the next step. Yeah. Absolutely. you're going to hit a wall coming up, whatever it might be, and you're going to be like, it was just a wall. I can push through it because I'm doing what feels so very aligned with myself. Yeah. I saw something once that was like, if you hit a wall, climb over it. And I was like, yeah. 53:39 Pretty much, like if you want it, you're gonna find a way to do it. like this is my reality, it works out because I just decided that it works out. Yeah, and I think we can't wear our rose colored glasses. Life is hard and we're gonna hit bumps, we're gonna hit all sorts of things, we're gonna run into walls and it's kind of just like we've just been saying, we have to figure out a way to keep moving forward. And I hope anyone listening when you hit those walls, take a beat. 54:09 and then figure out what your next step is and lean into who you are. I think it's a great message to leave people with. It sounds really cheesy, but it's true. I've seen it. I think a lot of us are always looking for that new groundbreaking thing. I always think of workout routines or whatever. Everyone's looking for the new groundbreaking thing, and it turns out to live a longer, happier life. 54:37 You just gotta work out and you gotta eat healthier. It's not anything special. same with this. Like, you just decide that life is going to get better and you just keep your chin up. It's not sexy, it's not fun, but it works. Yeah. And a lot of the things that people are successful with are not sexy or fun, right? Exactly. They're just very basic and rote sometimes. Yeah. Well... 55:05 I would love it if people are listening to this story and resonate with your journey or something that you said that they would be able to connect with you or reach out to you. What's the best way to find you, find your music, find what you're doing next, find when you're opening for Taylor Swift? What's the way to find you? Well, my full name on Apple Music and Spotify and everything is Andrew Mitch. You can find me 55:33 those places, YouTube. I'm also on Instagram, TikTok. I love answering all of my DMs. So please reach out to me. I love talking to people, especially when you guys share your stories or how it connects with you that literally makes every last little vocal comp I have to do. Your stories make all of that worth it. So please reach out. Yeah, I highly encourage. think there's so much power in telling your story. 56:03 And so if someone reaches out to you and is like, here's my story, or maybe you have never told anyone, and they're like, you saying this made me think of this. Like, there's so much power in them saying it, but then you get to hear it, and you're like, okay, there's a lot of power in hearing this. It's just storytelling. I mean, you know this as a songwriter and performer, that how powerful story is. It just connects us all. Exactly. Anyway. 56:31 Thank you for coming on this LifeShift podcast journey with me and talking about the ability to be seen and validated and then to take the next step forward and see what you can make of life. And it sounds like you're on this beautiful life-making adventure now. So thank you for that. Well, life is gorgeous and we are making it such. So thank you for having me, Matt. I really appreciate it. 56:59 And I'd like to thank the people that have been listening for however long you've been listening, but if you've been listening to episode one, don't go back. That's terrible. But if you've been listening for this long, thank you for being along this ride with me. And I think I'm going to say goodbye, and I will be back next week with a brand new episode. Thanks again, Andrew. Thank you. 57:31 For more information, please visit www.thelifeshiftpodcast.com