In Case You Need This: Still Grieving After Years? It’s Okay If You Are | Episode 1 of It's Okay If...
Grief doesn’t follow neat timelines – and it doesn’t mean something’s wrong with you if it still shows up years later.
Whether it’s been a decade or just a season, grief can return in a song, a memory, a smell, or even a YouTube clip that catches you off guard. That ache isn’t a sign of weakness. It’s a sign of what mattered.
In this short reflection, we explore why grief that lingers is part of love that lasts. You’ll hear a gentle reminder that:
“Grief isn’t a problem to solve. It’s part of a love that stays.”
If you’ve ever thought, “I should be over this by now,” this is your permission slip to stop trying to fix it.
It’s okay if it still aches.
It’s okay if you’re still carrying it.
00:07
Hey, welcome to It's Okay If, bite-sized permission slips. I'm Maculhuli, and if no one's told you yet today, it's okay if you're still carrying grief from years ago. For me, grief has been this long-time companion. When I was eight years old, I lost my mom in a motorcycle accident. And that moment, that loss, shaped so much of who I became. In my mid-30s, I lost my grandmother, who was really just like a best friend to me.
00:37
Losing her was another layer of grief that hit differently. It was a slow, inevitable goodbye, but still heartbreaking. And more recently, I lost my dog, Mikey. He wasn't just a pet. He was family. Losing him reopened parts of my heart I thought I had already healed. So when I talk about grief, it's personal. It's lived in. It's ongoing. Like the other day, I was watching something on YouTube and a clip
01:06
popped up and in the background it was the Murder She Wrote theme song. It stopped me in my tracks. I was right back in my old living room as a kid. That was our thing, my mom and me. In that moment, it wasn't this sharp pain exactly. It was more of this ache, this longing, and this reminder of what I've missed out on all these years without her. It's been decades since I lost her and still,
01:35
Moments like that show up. Grief doesn't follow these neat timelines. It doesn't show up when it's convenient or when we feel prepared. It sneaks in during YouTube commercials, in a song, in a smell, in a random quiet Tuesday. And yet, we tell ourselves these stories like, I should be over this by now. Other people have it worse. It's been so long, why is this still coming up?
02:03
But here's the thing I want to offer you today.
02:07
Grief isn't a problem to solve. It's part of a love that stays. It shows up because that part of you still loves, still remembers, still wants what you lost. So if you're carrying it, if moments like that still catch you off guard, that doesn't mean you're stuck. It means you're human.
02:29
And if you're up for it, maybe you take a second today and ask yourself, what's one place or one sound that brings your grief close again? Can you let that be okay? You don't have to fix it. You don't have to hide it. You can carry it today. Tell yourself, I give myself permission to carry what matters to me, even if it's heavy, even if it's old, even if it's still aches. That's your permission slip, friend.
02:59
Tuck it in your pocket and I'll see you next time.
