How We Slowly Rebuild After Loss | Bonus
This episode is part of The Things We Carry, a solo series shaped by the themes that stay with me after the conversations on The Life Shift.
Today I am talking about the quiet ways people rebuild after loss. Not the dramatic versions we often hear about, but the slow work that happens in ordinary moments. The rebuilding that takes shape in private. The kind no one sees.
In this reflection, I talk about how grief reshapes us, how healing does not mean going back to who we were, and how rebuilding often looks like small rituals, small connections, and small choices that eventually add up to something stronger. Loss creates a landscape we have to learn how to navigate. There are days we feel lost, days we find small paths forward, and days we simply sit with the weight of it all. None of it is wrong. None of it is failure. It is all part of the rebuilding.
If you are walking through loss right now, I hope this episode gives you space to notice the gentle ways you are already putting yourself back together. Maybe it is the first laugh you did not expect. Maybe it is reaching out when you would rather withdraw. Maybe it is the moment you stop judging your grief and let it be what it is. There is no timeline here. There is only your way. And that is enough.
This is the mini solo series, The Things We Carry. Small moments and themes that keep me thinking way after the conversations on the Life Shift podcast. Hey there, this is another one of the solo episodes where I'm trying to think about some of the themes that come up often in the over 200 episodes of the Life Shift podcast and just talk about it. So today I wanna talk about the idea of kind of finally saying that thing you've been holding in and how it often can shift everything. Usually it's not this big dramatic reveal. Sometimes it's like a quiet confession or a small crack in something. But when the moment comes, I think it's like the air kind of changes around you. And so many people are talking about these moments on the LifeShift podcast. Newton, for instance, shared how pulling back the curtain on his struggles felt both terrifying but freeing. And he described carrying this heavy armor of perfection and always trying to show up like he had it all figured out. But when he finally let someone see the vulnerability beneath, there was this kind of low hum of paranoia at first wondering if people saw him differently now. And I've certainly felt that way because I know that fear. You open a door and suddenly you're not sure if the people on the other side will welcome that real you or they'll run away. But Newton also talked about how once he took the weight out of his backpack, it felt a little lighter. I know the feeling of carrying something around, invisible but so heavy, until you say it out loud and suddenly kind of loses its power. And then there's Alessandra. She described this slow unfolding where she didn't feel fully herself in public until she found this community of people who embraced all of their struggles, their joys, the messy bits in between. She said the first time she truly felt seen was at a conference filled with people who understood what it meant to have parts of yourself that don't fit the usual mold. It's, I mean, I guess those communities are rare and precious. But it's beautiful because you don't have to hide pieces of your story or edit yourself for approval. It's really a permission that once you're given it, changes how you show up in the world, even if it's just a little bit at a time. And then Anastasia's story brought up something else. Those reverberations of shame and the quiet isolation that comes from holding onto feelings that don't really fit the narrative you're supposed to live by. She talked about how telling her story publicly gave others permission to share their own. to be seen as imperfect and real. And it reminded me how deeply connected we are through these unspoken experiences and how much power there is in breaking that silence. I thought about the times that I held my own truths back, not wanting to be the weird one or the one who didn't have it all together. But hearing someone else speak those words first often makes the path a little less lonely. We're all Still learning to be fully okay with the messy and perfect self and who knows if we'll ever get there, but we'll try. Sometimes I feel brave and other times I hide in the corner and sometimes I want to share everything, especially on the podcast. And sometimes I'm guarding pieces of my life, unsure if the world is ready for them or if I'm ready to say them. But what I'm realizing is that this process isn't about reaching a perfect place where you're constantly open or fearless It's about showing up as you are in that moment with all the contradictions and uncertainties. So if you notice there is this moment for you where you stop hiding or you let someone hear the real you, even if it's scary, I want to invite you to notice if there's a line in the sand moment for you. Maybe it's coming soon or maybe it's something you've already crossed without really realizing it. That moment when you stop hiding, when you let someone hear the real you, even if it's scary. Maybe it's a small step. whisper of truth or a full-on shout. Whatever it is, it's a turning point, a crack in the armor that will let in light and air. And when that happens, you're not the same person anymore. You're more you, and that's perfect.
