When Life Splits in Two: How a Near Death Experience Changed Everything

The Moment That Shattered Everything

I’ve talked to a lot of people about the moment their life changed. That “before and after” they never saw coming. But when Ash Perrow told me about holding his stillborn daughter in his arms, I didn't know what to say. It wasn’t just the grief he described. It was the silence that followed. The way he kept going. The way the world kept asking him to keep going.

Before that day in 2005, Ash was a teacher with a plan. He wanted to be a dad. He figured he’d climb the education ladder, maybe become a principal. Life made sense. But losing his daughter changed everything. What started as heartbreak slowly morphed into survival. Anxiety. Vomiting every morning before work. Insomnia that stretched into months. He was unraveling, and no one could see it.

When the Body Collapses, the Truth Emerges

Ash’s story isn’t neat. It didn’t follow a quick recovery arc. He spent over a decade trying to keep his life stitched together. He was misdiagnosed. Overmedicated. Lost in therapy loops that went nowhere. It wasn’t until his body gave out again that something deeper shifted.

In 2016, Ash went into surgery after a back injury. Something went wrong. A torn vein. Sixteen hours of internal bleeding. And then, he flatlined.

What happened next is hard to explain, even for him. Ash describes becoming ripples. Expanding endlessly. Consciousness without a body. He remembers bargaining. First for his kids. Then his partner. But the moment he said, “I want to stay to walk the planet from my heart,” everything changed. He slammed back into his body, gasping for air.

That moment became his contract. Stay for the work. Live from the heart.

Living From the Heart Is Not a Cliché

Ash’s return to life wasn’t a finish line. It was a beginning. He left the hospital with a destroyed body, a dissolving relationship, and a daughter to care for. But he also came back with clarity. That inner voice, the one that told him not to surf the day he got injured, the one he had ignored, was no longer optional.

What struck me most was how Ash talked about his new approach to life. He wasn't chasing happiness. He was chasing fullness. All of it. The grief. The joy. The anger. The softness. The silence. He told me, “We don’t want to be happy. We want to be fulfilled. And that means living from the heart, even when it’s messy.”

That resonated with me deeply. I’ve spent years trying to outpace my grief. To intellectualize it. To make it tidy. But the way Ash framed it reminded me that healing isn’t about getting rid of the pain. It’s about finally learning how to hold it.

What We Pass On Without Knowing

One of the most powerful moments in our conversation was when Ash talked about his daughter. The one he raised after everything fell apart. He said something that has stuck with me ever since. “True legacy is how we are. Not what we leave behind.”

He talked about how his daughter got to witness him become who he truly is. That by living from the heart, he’s showing her it’s possible to do the same. And even though we can’t erase the hard wiring of our early years, we can soften its grip. We can ripple something new into the world.

That’s the kind of legacy that matters. And honestly, it’s what I hope The Life Shift does too. That these conversations send out little waves. That they help someone, somewhere, believe in their own second chance.

The Life Shift Podcast

You can hear my full conversation with Ash Perrow on The Life Shift Podcast, available on all major platforms. If his story moved you, I hope you’ll give it a listen and share it with someone who might need it.

🔗 www.thelifeshiftpodcast.com