The Shame Was Never Hers: How Kaila Yu Reclaimed Her Story

Learning to Trust Her Voice Again

When Kaila Yu joined me on The Life Shift, I knew it was going to be a powerful conversation. But I didn’t expect it to sit in my bones the way it has. Kaila shared a story that most people would never speak aloud. Not because it isn’t worth telling, but because it was never supposed to happen in the first place.

In her early 20s, Kaila went to what she believed was a modeling test shoot. What happened instead was a violation – one that left her confused, dissociated, and carrying a shame that wasn’t hers to hold. She didn’t tell anyone. She buried it so deeply that she forgot it had been filmed. Then one day, a friend called to say they saw the footage. That moment cracked everything open.

What Dissociation Can Teach Us About Survival

Kaila told me she didn’t remember much from that day. Just flashes. Fear. A sense of needing to get through it. Her body stayed, but her mind went somewhere safer. That’s what dissociation does. It steps in when your brain decides a moment is too overwhelming to process in real time.

Years later, Kaila would go back and watch that footage. Not because she wanted to relive it, but because she needed to know what others were seeing. She needed to see the girl on the screen and understand what had happened to her.

And what she saw? A younger version of herself clearly in distress. A version who never gave verbal consent. A version who deserved safety and compassion, not silence and shame.

Rewriting the Story That Was Stolen

There’s a moment in the episode when Kaila says:

“I just pretended it never happened.”

And I think a lot of us can relate to that. Maybe not in the same context, but in the way we carry things that we don’t know how to name. For Kaila, the pretending came with layers. Cultural expectations around silence. Fear of being blamed. The belief that if she had gone there in the first place, maybe it was somehow her fault.

But here’s the truth: none of this was her fault. Kaila was coerced. She was young, alone, and trying to find her way. And instead of support, she got silence. Instead of justice, she got exposure. She didn’t just survive the trauma. She survived the shame that followed.

And now, she’s telling her story in a memoir called Fetishized, published by Crown, part of Penguin Random House. It’s her way of taking the story back.

The Long Road to Self-Worth

One thing that struck me was how Kaila talked about validation. She grew up in a household where emotional expression wasn’t modeled. So she sought approval elsewhere—from men, from modeling gigs, from internet attention. But none of it stuck because no amount of external validation can fill the gaps left by unprocessed trauma.

It wasn’t until years later, in therapy and recovery, that Kaila began to integrate the parts of herself that had been split. She describes herself now as someone who’s still healing. Someone who carries both the confident writer and the girl who dissociated in that apartment. And maybe that’s the most honest kind of healing there is.

She said if she could talk to that version of herself now, the one walking out of that apartment, she would just give her a hug. No advice. No big explanation. Just love. Just presence.

Why Her Story Matters More Than Ever

We live in a world where public exposure often happens without consent. Where trauma gets sensationalized, not supported. Kaila’s story is a reminder that healing doesn’t come from erasing what happened. It comes from naming it. From reclaiming it. From standing in the truth even when your voice shakes.

If you’ve ever questioned your worth after something was taken from you… If you’ve ever carried shame that didn’t belong to you… This conversation is one I hope you’ll listen to.

🎧 Listen to Kaila’s full story on The Life Shift Podcast at www.thelifeshiftpodcast.com