May 21, 2025

The Night Andrew Lang Realized He Didn’t Have to Fix Everything

Burnout Doesn’t Always Announce Itself

If you’ve ever taken on too much and told yourself, “I’ve got this,” you’re in good company. That was Andrew Lang’s default for years – saying yes, staying late, taking on the roles no one else would. He was a teacher, a union rep, a fixer. And underneath it all, he was drowning.

Burnout isn’t always loud. Sometimes it builds quietly, like a pressure valve tightening over months or years. According to a 2022 Gallup study, nearly 44 percent of teachers report feeling burned out “always” or “very often.” That’s higher than any other profession measured in the study. The numbers reflect what Andrew lived firsthand: a system that rewards overwork and punishes pause.

The Breaking Point Comes Quietly, Then All at Once

Andrew shared a moment in our conversation that has stayed with me. He and his partner were sitting on the couch one night after another long day. Nothing dramatic happened. No shouting, no slamming doors. He just stood up, walked out the front door, got on his bike, and rode into the dark.

“I just kind of exploded. I wasn’t a bike rider, but I got on and I rode – and rode – until my body gave out.”

When he finally stopped, blocks away from home, breathless under the night sky, a new thought slipped in: Maybe I don’t have to fix everything.

That line hit me hard. Because how often do we carry that belief like a badge of honor? That we have to hold it all – for our jobs, our families, our communities – without breaking.

What Happens After We Break?

That moment didn’t instantly change Andrew’s life. But it did start to shift what felt possible. He began going to therapy. Reconnected with old friends. He left teaching. And for the first time in a long time, he gave himself permission to explore what actually felt good, not just what looked good on paper.

He moved to a new city, lived communally for a while, then returned to a familiar space with a very different mindset. He rebuilt his life slowly and intentionally. Not everything changed at once, but how he related to the pressure and noise around him did.

What stuck with me most was how honest he was about the halting, uncertain steps forward. There was no perfect reinvention arc here. Just gentleness, curiosity, and a whole lot of trying again.

You Don’t Have to Earn Your Worth by Overdoing

This conversation reminded me how common it is to believe that being needed is the same as being valued. That being praised for doing more means you should keep doing more. But as Andrew said, the claps stop eventually — and if you haven’t figured out who you are underneath the applause, that silence can be deafening.

If you’re in a season where everything feels like too much, maybe the takeaway here is simple: You can stop. You can walk out the door. You can ride into the quiet. You don’t need to have a plan. You just need to trust that rest is not retreat — it’s recalibration.