Ian Fee’s Sobriety Journey After 30 Years of Drinking

The Day Ian Fee Chose Himself Over Alcohol

For three decades, Ian Fee believed that alcohol was his superpower. It helped him network, entertain, and keep the party going. He could walk into any room, light it up, and leave with new clients and new friends. From the outside, it appeared to be success. But on the inside, Ian was running on empty. In our conversation on The Life Shift Podcast, Ian shared what happened when he stopped running – and finally turned toward himself.

When the Life of the Party Goes Quiet

What surprised me most about Ian’s story wasn’t the chaos; it was the quiet. After years of drinking, failed marriages, and losing touch with his kids, it wasn’t a dramatic moment that changed everything.

It was a whisper.

On the third day of rehab, Ian had a realization:

“Unless you are right, nothing else is ever going to be right.”

That one sentence shifted everything. Not overnight, not all at once. But enough to make him pause. Enough to make him look in the mirror for the first time without blaming someone else. That was the moment he started building a new life.

Alcohol as Identity—And Letting It Go

Ian started drinking at one. Yep, one. His dad gave him sips of beer in a baby bouncer. By 13, he was bartending his parents’ parties. That early exposure shaped how he saw alcohol—not as a danger, but as connection. Charm. Belonging.

Later, as a successful businessman, alcohol became a kind of currency. Clients, partners, friends—they all bonded over cocktails and late nights. Ian joked that he wasn’t just at the party. He was the party.

But as the years passed, so did the toll: broken marriages, emotional distance, mounting resentment. And yet, like so many people struggling with long-term drinking, Ian didn’t see it as a problem—until everything else started breaking, too.

Choosing Discomfort on Purpose

What stood out to me most in our chat was how Ian talked about discomfort – not as something to avoid, but as a place to grow. His healing wasn’t sudden. It was built one uncomfortable habit at a time.

He replaced wine nights with cold plunges. Swapped happy hours for journaling. Traded people-pleasing for honesty. He even jokes that he thought journaling was for “85-year-old women,” but now it’s part of his daily rhythm.

“I started with one sentence. Now I miss it if I don’t do it.”

That’s what healing really looks like. Not flashy. Just consistent.

Your Circle Can Save You

One of the most moving parts of Ian’s story is how his community showed up. After rehab, when he was served divorce papers on Halloween night, it could have been the moment he broke. But his “core four” – a tight circle of longtime friends—rallied around him.

They let him cry. They flew across states to sit beside him. They didn’t fix anything. They just didn’t leave.

And that made all the difference.

The Ripple Effect of One Honest Story

Ian wrote a book about his journey called The Wild Ride to Sobriety. He included letters from his children—raw reflections on what it was like to grow up with a dad who was physically present but emotionally absent. It’s heartbreaking. And also healing.

One reader texted Ian recently and said, “Your book changed my life. Can I call you?” Ian answered, of course, he could.

And that’s the thing I keep coming back to: when we share our stories – especially the messy, unpolished parts—we give other people permission to imagine a different life for themselves, too.

If you’re curious about sobriety, feel stuck in old habits, or wonder how to start over in an honest way, Ian’s story is a powerful place to start.

🎧 Listen to Ian’s full episode at www.thelifeshiftpodcast.com or search The Life Shift Podcast on your favorite platform.